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Knight Rider - The Movie

2008-09-04T11:09:00.000-07:00

Wow, I can't believe that writing about this wasn't at the top of my list. Rated 9, 9, once again 9!
It's been a long time since I've actively booed and hurled things at the screen, but seriously... monkeys throwing feces on a wall until the poo dripped into the shape of words could have come up with better dialogue, especially for the 29-year-old accomplished female professor... whose father still considers her less to keep track of her life than the stoner neighbor he hasn't seen in 10 years. Comparatively, "Battlefield Earth" is the gem L. Ron Hubbard claims it to be. oohhh, my head hurts.

Bullshit: Season 5

2008-09-03T15:42:00.000-07:00

I enjoy watching this show, but it's almost always just a little bit libertarian-off for me to *actually* enjoy it. I mean, the writing is quite funny, but Penn averts his perspective and redirects it to anomaly, while also acknowledging scientific method, as if he is using it. (And you can find a scientist to support just about any talking point.)

e.g., "Hating Walmart is Bullshit". He "acknowledges" that *some* folks have a bone to pick, b/c 150,000 employees proved in court that they were treated illegally. The very next statistic is "but that's no big deal, b/c there are over 1 million Walmart employees!" Seriously? Over 10% of a company's workforce is able to prove in a very pro-business court system that the company mishandles them, and you don't think this might be a systemic problem that warrants criticism?

Nah... b/c there are some Trekkie-types who are printing unfunny anti-Walmart t-shirts! He 'hits his point home' by bringing forward a poor girl who believes that she would be unemployed if the anti-Walmart lobby had had their way. Seriously? If Walmart hadn't come to your neighborhood, there would be no better job in Chicago? Seriously?

The guy even boggles b/c the residents of his semi-depressed hometown don't want tear down the empty historic buildings downtown to build a Walmart, which would help folks not have to drive 20 miles to the 3 other nearby Walmarts. Yeah, I'd much rather have an abandoned Walmart warehouse in 5 years (too massive to repopulate), built with taxpayer incentives, than leave some empty pretty buildings where they are. I'd also like to chop down the rainforests to build a McDonalds.

Not to single out the episode I most clearly found to be Bullshit, but nearly every episode has some bit of double-standard reporting reminiscent of right-wing anger tactics. It's still funny, and I appreciate that at least there is some propaganda out there that's not from the crazy right-wing (certainly not as hateful as, say, Michael Savage), but it's still propaganda... hence not quite good. Rated 5.

Harold & Kumar: Guantanamo Bay

2008-09-03T14:15:00.000-07:00

OMG, I almost PEED myself with laughter...
I mean, I liked "H&K: White Castle" just fine, but when I read that this one was not as good, it didn't remain at the top of my list of things to see.
Why would I be so enamored of a stoner movie? Probably b/c Kal Penn is not a stoner. Anything involving Seth Rogen? Looks pathetic. "Jay & Silent Bob"? Whatever. "Dazed & Confused"? Man, i hated that thing. (I did, however, totally dig "Dude, Where's My Car" - which I think of as more as "dumb kid" a la "Bill & Ted" than "stoner".)
This movie swam brilliantly through all of the stereotypes of "otherness". I haven't laughed this hard since... I don't remember when... (Last time I remember laughing like this was "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy", which wasn't as overall good.) Rated 3+.

Baby Mama

2008-09-03T14:02:00.000-07:00

Despite the presence of the Greg Kinnear (the cinematic equivalent of Kenny G), I enjoyed this film immensely. I worried that it might be too ya-ya-sisterhoody... but no. Solidly funny and sidestepping all the potholes that make "chickflicks" so pussy. I should have more faith in you, Tina Fey. I can't decide whose talent/ career I envy more: Tina Fey or Samantha Bee... (If I had idols...) My gut feeling is to say SB, because her political commentaries consistently rock my world. And she has the Canadian thing going for her... but it may just be b/c I've seen more of SB. (Thank you, dailyshow.com.) TF is certainly doing a lot to generally increase the tolerance/ acceptance of "female content" into the heart of mainstream comedy, while also significantly smartening it up. Thank you, ladies.
But I digress... "Baby Mama" is no "Citizen Kane", but it's certainly one of the better disposable comedies I've seen in recent memory. I laughed and laughed (and don't remember a real cringe). Rated 3-.

300

2008-08-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

This movie, however, I found to be *complete* crap.
I hated how it looked (brown video game), how it sounded (LOUD!), and couldn't have cared less about the plot (so I walked out).
I especially hate when ultra-testosterone movies try to wedge in a totally out-of-place female character. The SPARTAN mother is going to get all weepy when her son is taken to train for battle? Really? A SPARTAN mother? Yeah, that wispy chick whose presence is accompanied by Enya music. *That* SPARTAN mother.
I've heard that back in that time in history a woman was three times more likely to die in childbirth than a guy was to be killed in battle. In SPARTA, this should mean for one badass lady. Not some lame Arwen wannabe. (But you gotta appease the chicks who who heart their "i"s, who were dragged to watch this turd on a date...)
I also hated the battle scenes, which digitally throw on the battlefield the entire population of Greece. Believable. Yeah.
...but at least it was LOUD!
All this to make our soldiers feel manlier and more just? (When I couldn't help but to think that the Persians had the cooler work ethic.)
Rated 9. Sorry, folks.

Transformers: The New Movie

2008-08-28T16:31:00.000-07:00

...because I couldn't even make it through the first half hour of that animated fiasco!
This movie has all of the elements that I hate in big movies: Corny dialog, racial caricature and stereotype, a super-reliance on special effects, a female lead whose *sole* purpose in the film is to witness the greatness of the otherwise-lame male lead, a 24-year-old high-level FBI hot-female scientist as *the* other female presence (besides mom), and even the Magic Negro. (Oh - and why did they even try to say that they were in "Las Vegas" while featuring the obvious features of the LA skyline?)
... despite this, I didn't really hate the movie. The actor playing the male lead was quite sympathetic, even. (I hear that he tried to channel George McFly, so that definitely worked for him.) I wasn't so disgusted that I couldn't at least acknowledge that I would *totally* be into this movie if I were a 13-year-old rich white boy.
Not to say that the movie wasn't crap, but you could do worse than to earn my near-neutrality: Rated 6.

ST:TNG "The Outcast"

2008-08-28T16:08:00.000-07:00

When I was a senior in HS, I visited OSU to compete for some sort of presidential scholarship. One part of the competition was to write an essay about what you felt to be the most important show on television and why. *Every* person I spoke with after the fact had answered "Star Trek: The Next Generation". (I did not.) And they "why" was b/c it addressed all sorts of social issues in such a thorough manner. While the season that we have been watching (yeah, I won't get to that through the backlog) came out after that time, I had been coming to understand what all these OSU-bound Trekkies were trying to say.
This episode, however, left me cold (on a topic I would otherwise be really hot about). (Androgyny is HOT!) This is an analogy that simply does not work in reverse. Seriously... if your species is physically androgynous, why would it be such a horrific sin to have feelings toward manliness or femininity? As long as you pair up with the proper counterpart, there wouldn't be any way for society to know about how you function behind closed doors. You'd still both have the same parts, so it's not as though you'd apply for a marriage license and be turned away for lack of proper gender.
And, in the end, it really made it as though the "solution" was *really* simple. The Janai'i being seemed pleased with the therapy, and I'm not feeling the tragedy for Ryker. (He'll find another species to love next week.)
Rated 5-.

Backlog

2008-08-25T11:01:00.000-07:00

Seriously - how do people find time to maintain blogs? *sigh*

The Golden Compass

2008-07-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

While I was reading the book, I kept wondering how on earth (or an alternate universe) they could possibly turn this into a movie. Not just in a "Lord of the Rings"-too-many-storylines-to-decide way, but because so much of the book is based on internal emotions and perceptions.
All in all, I think that they did a pretty fair job of translating it to the screen. Even though none of the characters (except for Lyra) looked *anything* like how I imagined them. They had so much 'action' to pack in that they were deftly able to keep it out of the internal realm. I suspect, though, that it goes too fast if you haven't read the book - much the same (but not as extreme) as the third Harry Potter movie (after the two dreadfully ssslllooowww ones) whipped you through at a crazy pace.
I was most disappointed by The bear fight, which turned a *brilliant* moment in the book into a scene straight out of "Back to the Future" (which is one of my all-time faves, but that doesn't make altering a story to quote it ok).
I also expected the movie to go on for at least one more scene. It ended completely differently than the book. Changing some things was fine, even expected in the Hollywood canon, but this major change left me completely confused (not to mention eliminating a great cliff-hanger).
I hear that box office receipts were disappointing, so they might not continue making the series, which would be a shame. I'd continue to watch, even when it's rated 4.

"The Golden Compass" by Philip Pullman

2008-07-22T16:51:00.000-07:00

First, what I didn't like:
1) I'm getting pretty tired of the plot device of "the chosen one". From "Star Wars" to "Harry Potter" to "The Matrix", it's a bit formulaic by now (and by "by now" I mean "since the New Testament became a hit").
2) It must be a boy thing to envision your spirit solidifying at puberty. ("Men were quite clear that they had read their formative fiction around the age of 15," quotes one study on the reading habits of adults) If I were remotely the same person that I was when I was 13, I would cry. Daily. Just like I did then.
3) It's a kid's book. Yeah, so is Harry Potter, but I'd been reading some more grown-up stuff recently, so it seemed like a confusing step back.
4) It was explained how the story takes place in a world similar to ours, but not ours, in small print in a random credits page, so I didn't know until after I read th book, which totally confused me, trying to figure out when it was supposed to be and stuff...
5) How could they so purposefully insult the church? Heresy! The pope should issue a fatwa on the author!

Still, it was fun for a kid's book, with some heady stuff, and I'll gladly continue reading the series. Rated 3-.

Albums by Year

2008-07-22T14:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, there about 20 things that I haven't yet taken the time to write down, but Felix (inspired by a Llama, etc.) posited an interesting exercise: best album by year, from the year you were born. I excluded compilations and soundtracks, which seemed to pare down my collection by a significant amount, and by "best" I mean what I enjoy the most. ...so if you think "Back to the Egg" sucks, well, you're probably right, but I like it, anyways:

1975 Queen, A Night at the Opera
1976 Stevie Wonder, Songs in the Key of Life
1977 Gilberto Gil, Refavela
1978 The Rutles (kind of a soundtrack, I guess, but the best I could come up with)
1979 Paul McCartney, Back to the Egg
1980 The Cure, Boys Don’t Cry
1981 Depeche Mode, Speak & Spell
1982 Michael Jackson, Thriller
1983 Prince, 1999
1984 Madonna, Like a Virgin
1985 Dead Milkmen, Big Lizard in My Backyard
1986 They Might Be Giants
1987 George Michael, Faith
1988 kdlang, Shadowland
1989 B-52s, Cosmic Thing
1990 Jane’s Addiction, Ritual de lo Habitual
1991 Marisa Monte, Mais
1992 Suzane Vega, 99.9*F
1993 Bjork, Debut
1994 Tori Amos, Under the Pink
1995 Pizzicato 5, The Sound of Music
1996 Beck, Odelay
1997 Les Elles
1998 Soul Coughing, El Oso / or / Rufus Wainwright
1999 Cibo Matto, Stereo Type A
2000 Golec uOrkiestra, 2
2001 Gorillaz
2002 Flaming Lips, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
2003 Kaada, Thank You for Giving Me Your Precious Time
2004 Of Montreal, Satanic Panic in the Attic
2005 Petra Haden, The Who Sells Out
2006 Sean Lennon, Friendly Fire / or / Regina Spektor, Begin to Hope
2007 Cocorosie, Adventures of Ghosthorse and Stillborn
2008 Flight of the Conchords???

2008 isn't over yet, and that's probably the only album I've even (mostly) heard from this year. It takes time for stuff to filter through to me (or to stand out from the crowd on kcrw).

I had *huge* troubles populating the early 80s, which is surprising - a period of great tunes - but not many noteworthy albums. In fact, 1990 beat DM’s “Violator” only b/c I could find *no* other good album in 1981, and I was going on the premise that I'd only have one nominee per artist. It was hard work to pare down the list from 1989-1999, which makes sense - the albums that I could sneak to buy in HS, then when I had freedom in college, and finally as a compulsive concertgoer living in NYC. The few albums that I know and cherish from the last few years all seemed to stem from the same year or two, so, overall, competition was uneven...
I agree w/ the llama that it may not be worth the time it took to make the list, but so it goes.

Lost, Season 3, the second half

2008-07-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

It's almost as if they asked the writers to hurry up and shove out whatever dreck they could before the strike, and then they actually worked on developing the scripts *during* the strike.
The second half of the season is actually interesting again! While it doesn't have the same excitement and intrigue of the first season, at least I don't feel as if I'm being dragged through a drinking game, and I'll continue watching without resentment. Rated 4+.

Wall-E

2008-07-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

The best movie I have seen in years, I think.
What's amazing is that the first third is, essentially, a silent movie. Then, for the next 20 minutes, there are no more than three or so words exchanged. It's only in the last third that there is any dialogue. Usually, I'm a words girl. The plot has to be reeeally well-executed for me to have any interest in a low-dialogue production. But this was amazing.
It will probably never make the Rated 1 in my book (which cannot happen in the first viewing) because the end is a *little* bit too glossy, but it comes really close. So good. Rated 2.

Batman: The Dark Knight

2008-07-21T14:08:00.001-07:00

Babygoat playing in daycare while I'm not working for one day has given Mr.Goat and me the unbelievable luxury of free time, which the desert heat dictates that I should spend in a nice, air conditioned theatre, instead of shoveling concrete in the backyard (which would be the practical alternative).
I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy this movie. After years of dreck being thrown from the graphic novel to the screen, I am so very, very turned-off to 'comic book' movies... To the best of my recollection, I haven't really liked one since the first "Spiderman". There were a few that I didn't wholly *dislike*, but nothing that I consider "good". ...but i whatever ads I saw didn't look too horrible, we had the time, and at the very least I could ogle (the very talented) Christian Bale. Yet even though this episode in the series did not contain any Bale-push-up workout scenes, I actually liked it.
A few things I did *not* like: 1) turning the Joker into "a freak who wears makeup". This is not what the Joker is. He has a backstory (as instable as it may be). I know how hard it is to make a bad guy have pathos and still be a bad guy, but his pigmentation is one constant of his character. Blah. 2) The movie was about 30 minutes too long. They could have split the whole 2-face conflict into a separate movie. Instead, I found myself thinking, "omg, ANOTHER fight?" about two story arcs before the end of the show. Really, they didn't need any additional explosions or vehicles. Blah-blah.
Despite these flaws (kudos for at least having the token female in an advanced stage of her career at least looking like she's in her 30s), at some point, I actually thought "this is what I had wished the movie in 1989 had been like". Rated 3.

Backlog

2008-07-21T14:07:00.001-07:00

Obviously, I haven't "made" the time to register my consumption in quite some time... so now I have to rely on memories, which may be erratic. Ohwell.

"The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson

2008-06-19T16:39:00.000-07:00

This book vacillated between the incredibly profound and the somewhat trivial. I adored the sections when it made history come alive, in the same way that Connections made science and warfare relevant, by describing the ways in which conquests or trends influenced language (the Norman invasion, e.g.). Occasionally, however, the text delved too deeply into trivialities, such as the fifty ways a certain word might be pronounced. Some paragraphs were only of skimmable interest... but not so many, so the book still gets a 2/3.

Juno

2008-06-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

I liked this movie. I'm not sure that I bought a 20-year-old in the role of a 16-year-old... it made her, by nature, a bit more comfortable in he snarkiness than I'm willing to give for even a self-assured high schooler, while her not-boyfriend was so much more believable as a person... but I guess that was supposed to be the point... In the end, what I really loved was the ending. I feared that it might go into the saccharine happy-ending of, say, Saved! ...but it did not... which is rare. I especially liked that even though the man-with-power blew things because he has the maturity of a 16-year-old, it didn't stop the women from getting what they needed out of the situation. Not groundbreaking in style, but unusually satisfying as a story. Brava. (Rated 3+)

"Kids in the Hall" Live

2008-05-30T17:00:00.000-07:00

I had seen the KITH on their tours in '94 & in '99/00(?). The first tour was brilliant. By the second, they were obviously having one last hurrah. The sketches were still funny, but they lacked some chemistry. I was excited to have the chance to see this tour, too, but I didn't have the highest hopes. The theatre was beautiful, and ...boy was I wrong. Back with new material, KITH were great. They looked good again, and their new sketches were hilarious... great timing and arrangement. They reprised a few characters, but brought back only one (slightly altered) sketch... which just happens to be my favorite. Bravo, rated 1-.

"Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut

2008-05-30T16:21:00.000-07:00

I should love this book -- It's about time travel (indeed, I can see an influence on "The Time Traveler's Wife")... and Germany -- ...but I didn't. I mean, it wasn't bad. It was OK. There were even a few profound moments. (A good foil to "The Matrix" in its presentation of acceptance of fate vs. free-will.) But, in the end, it totally reminded me of those old sci-fi books (which I associate w/ the 50s, but - as I'm learning from the astronaut series - 1969 was not that far ahead, in the mainstream)... Written from the pov of a privileged-and-intelligent-but-somehow-"off" white male, surrounded only by white men, except for those disposable, peripheral token ladies that they begrudgingly allow into their lives... the wives and daughters, who they don't really respect... well, suffice it to say that kind of literature alienates me. But that's just me. I'm sure the book is well above average, but I can only give it a 4.

"Song of Solomon" by Toni Morrison

2008-05-30T16:17:00.000-07:00

I feel so often bombarded by mediocrity that I find myself astounded when I encounter a work so beautiful as this... The characters, the language, the story... great literature. Rated 1.

Big City Junk

2008-05-06T16:21:00.000-07:00

Why would I buy a book by the same author as a piece of (true) junk that I rated with a 9? A delusion brought about by a temporary intoxication when something looks like it's populated with garage-sale design stylin' is my only excuse. Turns out that at least the author has some friends with interesting taste, so this book has some merit in featuring their hauls and creations. Displays of regional emphases available to junkers is also somewhat entertaining.) In the segments that feature the author's own junk collections, however, it's deja-vu of junk really equaling junk. (The habit has been passed on to her son, but his collections are not quite as crappy.) A significant improvement on the last read. Rated 6.

Sweeney Todd

2008-05-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

Speaking of annoying ingenues, I forgot (rather, have been too busy) to write a blurb about this film (among others). What can I say? Every character that survived this comedic gore-fest, I personally wanted to slay. If this were the Toledo Rep's casting, I'd understand, but Tim Burton has access to a much deeper talent pool. Even Sasha Baron Cohen and Alan Rickman couldn't elevate the film out of the cutesy morass. Another reminder that - after years of being deceived by "Nightmare Before Xmas" - it is not Tim Burton whose talent I envy so much as Henry Selick's. Lest I sound too negative, I *did* like the film more than I thought I would, not being the biggest Sondheim afficionado (or scholar). I appreciated some nicely-structured bits of stage-to-film, and the singing wasn't abysmal. Besides the slay-worthy young, Tim Burton really needs to shuffle up his casting, however, I really had enough of Helena BC about fifteen years ago, and Johnny Depp's rep doesn't have *that* much redemptive power, let alone time and again. She does do "crazy" pretty well, though, I must say. Rated 4/5

Slings and Arrows, Season One

2008-05-06T13:01:00.000-07:00

I feel that I am blending into a stereotype to admit how hilarious I found this series to be. When I was in Film, it was a joke how much folks in the film community *loved* movies about movies... and here I am, working in Theatre, laughing my ass off at a show about Theatre... and about putting on a production of "Hamlet" (which we are currently preparing), no less!
The only distractions I found were the lovely ingenues... Rachel McAdams' (oh great, she's going to be in "The Time Traveler's Wife" - an adaptation of a book I liked so much I'll have to see it) cutesie with the too-long-sweater-sleeves act struck me as an old-fashioned rehash of Jennifer Garner, and Luke Kirby is supposed to be an American Hollywood star? Right. What's that abooot? In the face of this drama and beauty, the season still gets a 2/3.

Kronos Quartet, Nonavut

2008-05-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

I'd heard these guys on the radio, but the live concert (at Disney Hall) was quite an experience. The quartet's performance constantly reminded of what a physical act music really is. This was especially so in the pieces that involved guest artist Tanya Tagaq. I must predicate the following comments with the comment that - as crazy as it is - I "got" Yoko Ono when I saw her in concert (1999). I'm not going to listen to Yoko albums in the comfort of my home (except for Double Fantasy's "Give Me". That's hilarious.), but I'm not going to berate her as an insane warbler, as one very well might. This concert reminded me a lot of that experience. Apparently Tanya Tagaq has paired in the past with Bjork, and I can see why, but the most mellow Tagaq moment makes Bjork's most avant garde seem as poppy as Brittney Spears. Ms. Tagaq's performance, in fact, reminded me greatly of Ms. Ono's... if Ono could sing. This Inuit throat singing was nothing like I expected, but it clearly involves great skill. In between the orgasmic pantings, a pretty soprano would surface. This blend of cute and guttural struck me as surprisingly musical. How could such a clean sound survive the sandpaper aerobics that the vocal chords must surely endure? I don't know, but it was nice. Rated 2++

Asha Bhosle

2008-04-29T07:28:00.000-07:00

This was my first concert at Disney Hall. It feels as though you are sitting inside a big elephant. The seating is well-arranged, and the design is beautiful - with a spectacular centerpiece organ.
I was impressed by Asha Bhosle's performance, in her 75th year. Late-life (TV) performances by singers such as, say, Rosemary Clooney seemed to me very belabored. Age (and weight) played heavy on the voice. I can't claim to be an astute judge of the gradients of quality in Indian music, but to me her performance was still fresh, with the high trill and twang still intact. I don't have the "now" and "then" tracks side-by-side to compare, but they were still quite soprano, which is impressive to me, knowing that most singers take their songs down an octave as they age.
The concert as a whole was somewhat dragged down by her "co-host", Amit Kumar, who spent entirely too much time (mostly in Hindi) extolling his late father, who often performed with Ms. Bhosle. It was a lovely gesture that the son could perform duets with her, but his solos were nowhere near the quality of the primary performer (white-jacket synth-fest), and the manner in which he delivered the long-winded comments that I could make out reminded me of a Singapore phrase: "He think he very can." While his solo segments made the concert drag (Lots of honkies left early, but I suppose much of the audience didn't have issue, since Bollywood flicks themselves tend to be four hours), he was quite adequate in his duet performances. And Asha Bhosle was stellar. Rated 2.

No Country for Old Men

2008-03-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

I tend to get lost with too many men acting in a piece, but not if they are unique enough. It was not a problem here. Still, (after "Eastern Promises") another load of violence (which the Coen bros generally do well) was probably not the best strategy.
eh... it was ok. The first half kept my interest, and Javier Bardem's performance was quite intriguing (visual association: 1, 2). But I did not see how his character followed some sort of "greater code", and I totally spaced out in boredom during Tommy Lee Jones' final monologue that was supposed to be the point (title) of the film... *yawn*
and Woody's character served no function... a quietly-paced film can't handle that much deadweight.
Rated 4+.

2008-03-26T13:16:00.000-07:00

Interior Desecrations, James Lileks

2008-03-25T13:47:00.000-07:00

Oh, the joy to find a book that had been on my wish list (you know I'll never buy anything on it when I still have a bookshelf of stuff yet to be read) new for $3. I haven't checked out his hilarious website in many moons, but it is always a laugh. With wisdom teeth being removed, I needed some levity. Taking about thirty minutes to read, this fit the ticket. I dig modern design, and I love to laugh with someone else at the horrific ways in which it can go.
And yet I found myself saying... "that room is absurd, but that lamp? nice."
(...and I swear my uncle still owns that bedspread featured with the matching wall...)
Rated 4.

Lost, Gregory Maguire

2008-03-25T13:37:00.000-07:00

His books keep falling in my lap. And while none has lived up to the brilliance of "Wicked", they entertain. I am not an afficionado of ghost stories, but this wasn't very ghosty.
On the down side, it takes many chapters of trodding through alternate-type text interspersed with the real story until you understand what's going on, and the resolution is pretty weak.
On the upside, much of it is a fun romp, and it's full of lovely wordage. And it is obviously quite diligently researched. I like some smarts in my books. Rated 4.

Lost Season 4, Episodes 1-5

2008-03-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

JJ Abrams seems to have a pattern of creating an intriguing television series, masterfully presented in a brilliant first season... and then letting it all fall downhill. The second season is still better-than-average, but some cracks appear in the facade. By the third season, it seems that the writers have all jumped ship, and the contradictions become so great that you begin to wonder if the new writers have even watched the first season. Yet you keep watching, waiting for the original promise of genius. Ratings sag, they eventually put an end date on the project, and you end up masochistically anticipating and wading through the rest of the muck to reach a final resolution. ...the answer to the great secret will be revealed in a brief two years!
So it was with "Alias", and so it seems to be with "Lost".
In "Alias", they replaced the excitement of story with on-again, off-again filial piety, and in "Lost" it's this wishy-washy love triangle, replete with a nauseating swelling soundtrack. bleagh. (New drinking game: take a shot every time one of the three changes his/her mind if s/he loves the other. You'll be able to forget how you're wasting another hour.) Same goes for the love/hate for Locke or Kevin Spacey - I mean Henry Gale, I mean "Ben". It's "can we trust Sloane? Even though he just tried to push his daughter off a building five minutes ago? Of course, he's repented!" all over again...
(Do they have any continuity of direction? I work with directors, and the good ones know the back-story on every last major and minor character. Every obscure detail and character trait, even those not referenced in any script. Ladies and gentlemen, consistency just left the building.)
...but then there's this fifth episode, which is not like the others. It's great! Why? Because they ripped off the plot from Star Trek. That's why.

If there's not some payout in the end to make up for the latent misogyny and extremist portrayals of "faith", I'll be very upset. But if "Alias" is any predictor, I expect that these will be some of many issues left unaddressed, originally introduced to boost ratings.
I rant and rave, but I guess it's not really worse than the average dreck on the telly. It's just such a waste of potential. So I'll rate it a 5.

And, of course, I'll end up watching it to the end.
Stupid Hope.

Eastern Promises

2008-03-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

I was interested to see this after listening to an interview with Viggo Mortensen about the role of language (and accent) in his acting process. I wasn't disappointed, but the plot was too similar to the last Cronenberg/Mortensen film I saw: instead of a bad guy pretending to be "good", however, Viggo plays a "good" guy pretending to be bad.
I realize that I am becoming very squeamish in my old age. I can't seem to stomach much violence anymore, and this was Sopranosesque at times. (Makes sense, since it's a mob movie... just a different ethnic diaspora.)
In summary, the acting and directing was good. A good movie, yet still somehow forgettable. Rated 3/4

The Bourne Ultimatum

2008-03-10T15:41:00.000-07:00

uh-oh... it was a few weeks ago I saw this, and already I remember very little. I suppose it was better than average, but that's not a good sign to be so forgettable. I remember being less impressed by the use of more technology (especially cell phones). Seemed a bit "Alias" like that. And to have hopelessly ensnared a mostly-innocent person in his flight seemed very deja vu... Rated 5+.

Sicko

2008-03-10T15:00:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm ready to defect to another country.
No, seriously.

My life rocks in recent years. I really have everything to be thankful for, but I have also lived on the other side and know just how lucky I am. How we treat the rabble of uninsured is one issue, but this movie isn't even about the uninsured. It's about those who pay into the system and the American way of life and still end up screwed over/ dead. If you're lucky to have a network of some affluence, you might have some theoretical support on a personal level (if you're not too proud to beg), but we as Americans are by and large simply horrible to each other. But how can we help but be when we have to look after our own interests so closely?

Several days ago, I was listening to a story on Fresh Air (NPR) about a father and son who had written books about the son's battle with drug addiction. In recovery, the son discovered that what he really needed was just anti-depressants, not crystal meth. Apparently, 80% of drug addicts are suspected to be self-medicating for psychological disorders. I wonder if we had nationalized health care, and if we had doctors who earned bonuses based on the quality of attention doted on their patients, if it wouldn't affect the "war on drugs"... It would certainly help stem the feelings of exclusion and hopelessness that lead to violent outbursts , so we could stop being so bloody afraid of each other... (I'd pay an extra 10% in taxes to not have to read about another school shooting, but maybe that's just me...)

...but i digress...

I've lived abroad and already know how much better the quality of life is for folks in other developed countries. Halfway through the film, I found myself looking around the room and seriously asking myself if I could abandon all the great stuff I have (I do like my stuff) to live around other dirty socialists, and I found myself honestly replying: "If the weather is still nice? If I could have an equally awesome job? Absolutely."

Enter the Dragon

2008-02-20T14:36:00.001-08:00

I expected this to be a crappy action movie, but I was interested in watching it after hearing the
soundtrack from the next room. Between that and the dude with the big 'fro, I expected it to be a blacksploitation piece, with at least a lot of camp entertainment value. ...but it actually wasn't bad as a movie. The choreography was very real and well-designed. I watched a very poorly-derived vhs print, so I have to wonder if the film had higher production values than it appeared. If it was originally made well and a print can be cleaned up, however, it's a keeper in the action canon. The foley editors obviously had a little too much fun with the sound effects and post-dubbing, making it cornier than it needed to be... but it was a fun romp. Rated 3/4.

Simpsons - Season 8

2008-02-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

Homer's Enemy - so sad... i've seen it before and thought that it was sad then, too... I suppose that it's not poorly written, but I feel too much for the guy (and I don't watch 'Simpsons' for Schadenfreude) to rate it any higher than a 5.

Spin-off Showcase - Cute. Clever. Rated 4+.

The Secret War of Lisa Simpson - Cute. Would be cuter if it were ever alluded to again... 4+

From the Earth to the Moon (pt 1 & 2)

2008-02-19T11:40:00.000-08:00

Too many guys who look the same for me to focus well on the narrative. And I'm seriously failing to see why I should get excited about a space program that was almost always one step behind the cutting edge... The second episode was a little easier to follow, however. Rated 5+.

Outfoxed

2008-02-19T11:34:00.000-08:00

Why I am such a bad American? Because movies like this one are true. The more Fox you watch, the more falsely informed you are... yet those same people think themselves the truest, bluest patriots. We're going to H*** in a handbasket, but the journey has nothing to do w/ gay marriage. Whachagonnado? 'fraid nothin' can be done... Rated 3.

The Office (UK)

2008-02-19T11:29:00.000-08:00

At first, I didn't think that I would be able to handle too much of this series at once. I've never had a boss who thought that he was funny, but I've worked with more than my fair share of discriminatory a**holes... I've pushed their memory in a corner of my mind where I do not wish to go. But the series is so brashly funny that it didn't eat at me as I thought it might, and I laughed and laughed and laughed. Comeuppance is in store, and in the end it's just a corny love story, anyways, no? Lovely. Rated 2.

Capote

2008-02-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Internal, quiet, intricate... Capote didn't blow me away, but it was good. I'd read the book ("In Cold Blood") several years back but didn't know that it was supposed to be so groundbreaking. It's so common nowadays. Yes, good performances, nicely understated... Rated 4+

Zoot Suit

2008-02-19T11:10:00.000-08:00

A little bit "Cabaret", a little bit "Chicago", and a little bit "Fight Club... An original narrative, if not much as a musical. (Only the narrator ever sings, and only a few songs at that.) Taught me something, as I had no idea that "Zoot Suit" was a racist term for Latinos. I had only heard the term used, I think, in Billy Holiday's autobiography... Rated 4.

Maria Montessori - The Absorbent Mind

2008-02-19T10:58:00.000-08:00

It makes so much sense to me: have your child treat every day as an opportunity to explore, and give them the structured freedom to explore, and they will be too busy to try to get into trouble. Kids *want* to learn. They have to be taught to be lazy. (Watching my daughter, I would say that this is so.) I am so lucky to have been allowed to study at a Montessori school for two of the prime formative years (thank you, Harriet!!!). Especially after reading this book, I see how - while I went on to learn some bad habits from later influences - a lot of what I learned there at the very least instilled in me a love of learning. Rated 2+.

Dead Like Me - RIP

2008-02-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

"Last Call", "Always", "Haunted"
I'll lump these final episodes together in a fabulous heap. Such a beautiful way to end a series. Never has a series about death been so life-affirming to me. Rated 2.

Star Trek - All Good Things...

2008-02-13T15:11:00.000-08:00

I had already seen this episode a while back. Q ends this series, at least, as mischievously as he entered it. I've been a fan of the time travel since my childhood (see previous post), so of course I enjoyed this episode. Rated 2-.

Star Trek - Q2

2008-02-13T14:56:00.000-08:00

Farewell, sweet Q. I have now seen every episode featuring you.
You did not end with the same omnipotent bang with which you entered, but I respect you all the same.
I would have loved this episode if I were 12. Not only is the writing on par with the type of drama I would have found inspiring at that age, Q's mischievous offspring (also the actor's) somehow reminded me of my childhood actor-crush, Meeno Peluce. Rated 5.

The Short Films of David Lynch

2008-01-31T15:30:00.000-08:00

A pleasant DVD surprise. The film historian in me especially enjoyed the introductions before each film.
1 Six Figures Getting Sick (Six Times) 2+. surreal art piece. i'd stop and watch it at a museum.
2 The Alphabet 4/5... eh.
3 The Grandmother 4/5. reminds me of what I remember of "The Wall" for some reason.
4 The Amputee... did not want to look right on my tv. can't comment. dragged, though.
5 The Cowboy and the Frenchman 2+. Hi-LARIOUS!
6 Premonitions Following an Evil Deed 2. beautiful idea. very interesting to watch

Dead Like Me - Forget Me Not

2008-01-23T16:05:00.000-08:00

I'm surprised that this episode did not give me nightmares, the ending was so creepy. Very nice. Suspenseful. (With a special appearance by Yeardley Smith, who I haven't seen on screen since the days of Herman's Head.) 2-.

Star Trek - The Q and the Grey

2008-01-23T14:17:00.000-08:00

The Q seem to have ever greater limitations as time goes on. You'd think that an omnipotent being could impregnate a species at will, and even make gestation instantaneous if so desired. But then there wouldn't be much of an episode, and I suppose it's fair. Rated 4-

The Simpsons - Season 8

2008-01-22T13:12:00.000-08:00

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment - A pretty lame ending, what with just not having read the paper to the end. Besides, homemade beer isn't so hard to make. Rated 5.
Grade School Confidential - Cute and very adult, without being heavy. Reminds me somewhat of the episode where Milhouse's parents get divorced. Rated 3.
The Canine Mutiny - A little extra something so that it falls short of predictable. Rated 4/5.
The Old Man and the Lisa - Yes, I have the Lisa bias. But it's a great play on her character. Rated 2/3.
In Marge We Trust - I don't even think of this as a Marge episode. I think of it as Mr. Sparkle. And Mr. Sparkle is hilarious. Rated 2/3.

Star Trek - Death Wish

2008-01-22T12:48:00.000-08:00

I like how "Q" is introduced to the "Voyager" series, especially how - through an encounter with a jaded philosopher Q - it can write off his previous lame behavior (*cough* Vash) in as a reaction to the dullness of continuum culture (which reminds me of a "Life in Hell" cartoon I pasted on my wall for many years that said something like "Wouldn't eternity get boring after a while?"). It gives me hope that future Q episodes will find him once again back to his mischief.
His counter-Q, however, ends disappointingly. If he truly wanted to be mortal just for a new experience, you'd think that he could savor the feeling of mortality for a few days (or decades) before ending it all. Q2's death seemed more of a lame device to neatly round out the episode (especially the taunting of Home) than a meaningful denouement. Rated 4.

Rifftrax - Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith

2008-01-22T12:39:00.000-08:00

Rifftrax introduces this movie with the description that it is known as the least offensive of the three Star Wars prequel films (and goes on to humorously detail analogies for what, exactly, this means). And I recall that when I saw this in the theatres I felt the same way and almost liked it. Watching it again, however, it's really quite boring. I'm sure somebody out there has analyzed the content in the form of a pie chart, and it has *got* to be 90% special effect battles and/or really dull exposition to drag us along the dull, dull plot. I remember before thinking that the final light saber duel was pretty cool, but now I just couldn't care about yet another fight, and that moody, moody boy. But nothing in particular stands out as particularly offensive (except the incongruity in the later movies that Leia 'barely' remembers her mother when Luke asks, where in this case Luke knew her for about thirty seconds more than her). It merely bores me to neutrality. Rated 5.

Dead Like Me - Ashes to Ashes

2008-01-22T04:51:00.000-08:00

It's too bad that this series only lasted two seasons, because I only have one disc left to watch and it's really picking up steam. It balances so many storylines well - among the dead, the undead, and the living - and with honest emotion. And in doing so it doesn't contradict itself all too much. I'll be sad when it has finished. (Especially since I doubt that the last episode will wrap everything neatly. I don't know if they planned to end after only two seasons.) Rated 3+.

Northern Exposure - Cicely

2008-01-22T04:45:00.001-08:00

I liked this episode, but I could have liked it a lot more. Perhaps I identified with it more it b/c Roslyn reminds me of so many of my college classmates. But probably more so b/c I like when folks learn about history. I would've liked it more if the history characters weren't played by folks in present-day town (more using character stereotype), especially b/c it reminded me of some other episode (which I can't think of at the moment). But I guess I understand why they did it that way. Rated 5+.

Northern Exposure: Our Wedding

2008-01-22T04:42:00.000-08:00

Not really a bad episode, but getting trite in its reliance on the characters' overt character stereotypes. Also, recycling old themes too much. Rated 5-.

Kiss of the Dragon

2008-01-22T04:25:00.001-08:00

Watching this movie, I was thinking: Wow, this is like The Transporter. It's like somebody got together a bunch of stylized actors who can't act at all and who barely speak English, but they look cool, and their lack of speaking skills won't be recognized in most of the world. It really sucks, but the nifty choreography is what most viewers are going to remember, so people are going to say that it's pretty good. Which it isn't. At all.
Surprise, surprise, the screenplay of this piece of dreck was same as The Transporter.
Yet, the fight scenes *were* well-choreographed and filmed (much more seamlessly than The Transporter, actually, and other movies have offended my delicate sensibilities much more than this turd. And, on the bright side, when the big, ripped black man appeared out of nowhere to gratuitously rip off his shirt (in an obvious desperate ploy to expand the film's demographic)... well, I haven't laughed so vigorously at the screen since that dagger nearly pierced Tom Cruise's eye in Mission Impossible II. Rated 8. (I'd give it an 8+, but on principal I just can't bring myself to associate a "plus" with this film.)

Dead Like Me - Death Defying

2008-01-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

In one sitting, it's an about-face from everything in the previous post, but almost equally as satisfying. Unlike many other tv shows, where I find myself watching and waiting for it to reach its potential, "Dead Like Me" unfolds beautifully. I admit, I get irked when they reap murders, when they are supposed to only deal in accidents, but I'll skim over this fact in light of their fine character development. Rated 2-.

Star Trek - Tapestry

2008-01-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

After a slate of less-than-stellar viewing experiences (future entries), it was nice to have a double-shot of the good stuff. This well-written episode resonates with me, as I have often thought how my life might have panned out if I had had certain traits in my youth that I have only recently developed. But the I always come to the same conclusion, which is that I wouldn't change the bad choices I've made in my past at the sacrifice of my current self. And why would I want to? That is, after all, what being human is all about. As Q and Jean Luc discover.
It is odd, however, that Jean Luc accepts defeat and "wants out" from Q so quickly in his alternate reality. You'd think that with his pluck and vigor he could find new chances to take and paths to forge. ...but I guess it is hard to establish a new career at his age. (Speaking of which, his kissing his Academy friend was even creepier than young-enough-to-be-my-daughter Vash. But that's just me.) Rated 2+

Star Trek - Q-less

2008-01-11T16:03:00.000-08:00

I appreciate when the Trek series' play with each other, and I dislike Vash less with this follow-up episode, but mustn't Q have learned Love to behave in this manner? He seems more like a moody teenager being dumped than an omnipotent being. Well, I suppose that Gods can do whatever they want. Rated 4-.

Star Trek - True Q

2008-01-11T16:00:00.001-08:00

At first, I was concerned to see another perhaps flighty ensign(ish) on board in this episode. The Love of Love - as if it's the only weapon against Q - gets a bit cloying, but the episode was fair. That girl must have special powers to have such a complicated wardrobe that sets her off so beautifully. Rated 4.

Northern Exposure - It Happened in Juneau

2008-01-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

Way too much Chris quoting for me to care. And having his voice leave him has already been done. The plotline with Fleischman and Maggie was also too played-out and trite. Rated 5-.

Star Trek - Qpid

2008-01-11T15:03:00.000-08:00

*sigh* This episode required prior knowledge of characters, which I did not have. Fortunately, Mr.Goat is a virtual Trek Oracle. I didn't like the dippy ensign character, who didn't seem to have much purpose. Neither did I understand why Picard would fall for someone as morally corrupt as Vache - excuse me... Vash. But I suppose it's a play on that old "good girls like bad boys" adage. ...and then they run off with your nemesis.
Fair enough. Rated 3-.

Star Trek - Deja Q

2008-01-08T18:47:00.000-08:00

Funniest. Star. Trek. Episode. Ever.
Again, it's a science + religion episode that gets me. You get a godlike creature who has to be a mortal human... it's like Jesus, see? Only this God never wanted to be human. And who turns out to be his best friend? An android.
...But it's not as lame as that sounds. When people tell me how easy my baby's life must be, I always comment how I think it's hard work to be a baby. So much to learn, every day... and babies don't know how to slack off (or still know that slacking wouldn't be in their best interest). Q knows everything about the universe but nothing about life, and his dilemmas are like those of a baby who can talk. Brilliant. (Should I revisit "Mork and Mindy"? Wasn't that part of the plot?) Rated 2, with potential.

Year of the Goat

2008-01-08T18:37:00.000-08:00

Living the dream, man. Living the dream.
Spending a year on the road (kind of), visiting goat farm after goat farm, sampling all manner of tasty chevre. I'm not too keen on reading about goat slaughter and its meat byproducts, but let the omnivores have their fun. At least they talk about responsible slaughter. The talk of the cheese kept my mouth watering long enough so that I didn't care so much about the market for halal goat.
In theory, I wouldn't see myself caring too much to read a travel narrative by two upper-class(ish) Manhattanites and their search for a simpler life. (Isn't that what [*shudder*] New Jersey is all about?) But the prose was fun and accessible without being trite, and the tales were varied and well-organized. They also have done all of the research for what would be a few lovely vacations, in my book. (If I had read this last year, my trip to Texas' hill country would have been quite different.) Rated 3+.

The Bourne Supremacy

2008-01-08T18:27:00.000-08:00

It's not high art, and the protagonist's emotional push was inevitable, but it's refreshing to see an action movie made without so many computer-generated special effects (the early Bond films were proud of their real-life stunts) or reliance on technological plot devices. I wasn't even too disturbed by the notion that a girl born in 1979 was supposed to be able to hold down a high-level CIA job. (Katie Holmes posing as an Assistant DA in "Batman Begins", on the other hand, irked me to no end.) The movie also made me wax sentimental for Europe, especially so every time I recognized the Westin Grand in Berlin, where I spent several nights of my honeymoon. Rated 3.

Stardust

2008-01-06T04:59:00.001-08:00

When I hear of a Gaiman book being translated to film (a major one at that), I am suspicious. Were I a director, I wouldn't even attempt to translate such brilliant fantasy to mere (visual/ cinematic) reality. The potential for disappointment is too great. I commend Matthew Vaughn for this effort. (I kept thinking - "This is how Terry Gilliam's films could be!") Surprisingly delightful casting and cinematography, special effects not at all cloying. Funny where it should be (although the pirate fairy could have been a bit more subtle), sappy where appropriate, and true enough to the book to not cause raised eyebrows. Reminiscent of "The Princess Bride", even.
But then there's the ending. Between making the happily ever after more happy than necessary and the mind-numbing credit song that follows the denouement, the mood is thrown out the window at the 11th hour, and my rating drops from a very solid "2 with potential" to a 2/3.

Les Miserables

2008-01-06T04:42:00.000-08:00

According to my records, I started this 900-page-behemoth on 10/15. Finishing on Christmas Eve is pretty respectable, considering all of the other media consumed and hours worked in the interim.
My interest in the story ebbed and flowed throughout the pages. The first few hundred pages were delightful in their romanticism. I found Fantine's sacrifices touching and Jean ValJean's moral development quite lovely. Then a few hundred pages on somewhat tedious political struggles would slow me down. Then a sappy love story took the reins, more antiquated political intrigue, tempered by a more interesting plea for street children, and capped off with more lame ladies and melodrama involving folks not knowing who sacrificed what for whom, and worrying about fitting into high society. But through this all, Jean ValJean remained a captivating character. Long story short, 900 (abridged!) pages is quite a feat of writing, and you have to expect some down time. Not every page can please, and it seemed to be somewhat of a crowd pleaser (like the musical, but less severely so). More or less, however, this novel meets its mark. Rated 3+.

Star Trek - Q Who?

2008-01-05T18:25:00.000-08:00

The Star Trek "Q Collective" contains all episodes featuring this popular character, so I find the narrative continuity particularly fulfilling. (And yes, they address the backlash of his previous appearances.) It's nice not to have to ask Mr.Goat questions about what I have missed between selected episodes. Q is cool in his unpredictability. At times, it seems that he's just playing mischievous mind games, and at other times flashes of evil psychosis spark up in his demeanor. Take the prime humanity of Jean Luc, the unpredictability of Q, and mix in the dreadful (in its effect, not quality) predictability of Borg, and you have a recipe for a good episode. (Borg Babies!) Note: Riker has already taken on the Billy Joel look in season 2. Rated 2.

Simpsons - My Sister, My Sitter

2008-01-05T18:21:00.000-08:00

The sibling relationship episodes in The Simpson tend to be quite satisfactory. Since my own baby bears a vague physical resemblance to Maggie, her performance in this episode cracked me up, in particular. Baby on coffee ice cream = HI-larious. I never read the babysitter club books, so I'm missing out on something, but I still rate this episode a 2.

Rifftrax - Star Wars II, Attack of the Clones

2008-01-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

Compared to the horror that was The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones is a masterpiece of the cinema. Then again, so would be "The Care Bears Movie". Actually, Episode II is not that bad. The acting and much of the dialogue is horrible, and the special effects are really overused... but it isn't largely unwatchable and even has some cool parts. Like the sonic boom (which sounded much less cool, since I no longer have my surround sound system) and yoda's fight scene. It disturbs me, however, that my brother philosophizes in lines way too close to those of young Anakin (in particular, the 'rolling in the field' scene). Fortunately, my family doesn't have claim to mitichlorians, a virgin birth, or sword fighting expertise (unless you count my semester of fencing). In the end, the cool elements and low expectations outrank the serious demerits. Rated 4/5.

The Bourne Identity

2008-01-03T14:23:00.000-08:00

I never would have seen this movie, if it weren't for the recommendation of a friend, but it proved better than the average action movie I've seen lately. Unlike many sequels (or even tv shows), I would watch the sequels anticipating enjoying them, not just waiting to complete the series. The female was fairly disposable but wasn't overplayed as a romantic device, and I'm partial to Lola Rennt to begin with. Rated 3/4

Star Trek - Hide & Q

2008-01-03T14:04:00.000-08:00

Another First season surprise.
I realize that I am used to seeing Riker from later episodes, and I have always called him "That Billy Joel guy", in reference to his unattractive features with a beard. But in the first season, I see that he was supposed to be traditionally good-looking. He looks like a young Orson Welles, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since he eventually became an old Orson Welles... on a similarly superficial vein, I'm sad to see that the actor playing the adorable Q also did not age so cutely. (He looks like a retired boater in this photo, at least.) Well, that's life.
I enjoyed this episode, even though the performances were somewhat stodgy. And I will have to knock it down a notch if they never mention Q being punished by his people.
Rated 3+

Star Trek - Encounter at Farpoint

2008-01-03T13:58:00.001-08:00

I had heard that the first season of ST:TNG was mostly unwatchable, so I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by the pilot. I thought that it did a quite good job of introducing a large cast of characters (even if it doesn't address some of the character traits given ever again), and Q is always delightful. Zorn also reminded me of Christopher Walken. While a less brilliant incarnation, the allusion is still positive. Rated 2-

Northern Exposure - Season 3

2008-01-03T13:09:00.000-08:00

Always behind on time to record... several episodes here:
Democracy in America - Too much Chris, too much Fleishman in his annoying element. (Whatever happened to those dream sequences of previous seasons? *sigh*) 4
Three Amigos - Lots of episodes about dealing with death, aren't there? The flitting widow is funny, tho. 4+
Lost & Found - Complex and more subtle. 3-
My Mother, My Sister - Cute enough. 3/4
Wake Up Call - Very nice. Would have been more original if they hadn't already had Maggie's ex "reincarnated" as a dog. 2-
The Final Frontier - I had been wondering for a while what had happened to these characters, and I don't like when tv shows leave things hanging, but yet *another* coping with death theme? 3-

Simpsons Episodes, Season 8

2008-01-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer - Homer being an a** again, but you can't go wrong with animated surreality. 3+
The Twisted World of Marge Simpson - Cute enough. 3/4
Mountain of Madness - Cute enough. I've seen it many times, however. 3/4
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious - Way cuter than the movie on which it is based. 2
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show - 3
Homer's Phobia - Edgy, hilarious. 2
Brother From Another Series - Probably funnier if I had watched Frasier, but funny nonetheless. Poor Sideshow Bob. 2/3

MST3K - Eegah

2007-12-18T15:35:00.001-08:00

This has to be the worst film I have ever seen, taking over the spot previously occupied by "The Big Hit". At least I can see *why* somebody would go to see "The Big Hit", even though it is a heaping turd of a film. Perhaps they like Mr. Wahlberg, or they like special effects, or they think that it is effective as a parody... After several days of contemplation, however, I can find absolutely no redeeming qualities to "Eegah". I honestly don't see why anybody would ever watch it, except maybe the (uglier than the caveman) male protagonist's mother. (His father already directed, produced, and starred in it, which explains how it got made.) Never would watching this film be an act of free will. Never, ever, ever. Rated 9.

The Right Stuff

2007-12-14T15:02:00.001-08:00

I didn't realize until I went to the Houston Space Center this past summer just how far behind we were in the Space Race. I grew up thinking that our space program was a crowning achievement in our glory. So, watching this, I'm wondering why the Russians don't have a movie called "The Righter Stuff". They were always one step ahead of us, until the moon landing. (I now also understand why there are so many conspiracies about that.) As if my patriotism isn't weak enough.
As I occasionally do, I had problems watching this movie. Too many guys who look alike. I can't keep track. Except for the blond John Glenn. My illustrious former-senator must have had input on the script, as this movie canonized him, while portraying the other astronauts as supremely flawed (but still good old American heroes!). I also didn't necessarily understand what Yeager had to do with anything. His story was interesting (perhaps more so than the other guys'), but without his side-story the film would not have lasted 3 hours.
Still, the film was far better than average. Good suspense (although manly jokes are pretty weak) 3/4.

Cirque du Soleil - Love

2007-12-10T15:49:00.001-08:00

This could have been a "1". Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Didn't. The music is *incredible*, and not just because it is The Beatles. The creativity of the remix and the stereo experience is a true feat of genius. The scenic design is superbly complex. The show itself has awe-inspiring moments. (When "Good Night" popped from the darkness, tears almost came to my eyes.) ...but there are also a few superfluous, unoriginal numbers. Too many dancing galoshes. The trampoline act is the same as the skater act (which was cool, but not enough for a reprise). The other Cirque show I saw years ago was much more gymnastic/ athletic and varied. I hear that they tweak all the time, though, and I'd see it again (if I were rich). Rated 2-

Simpsons - Season 7

2007-12-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

Bart on the Road - I remember my best friend having a poster of that big Space Needle, and when I see this episode, I actually want to see it. I bet it's not there anymore, huh? 4+

22 Short Films about Springfield - Nice floating twists and turns. And I like "Pulp Fiction" references. 2-.

Raging Abe Simpson - Fairly forgettable, but violently so. 4-.

Much Apu About Nothing - I love the PhD punch card gag. An apparently timeless plotline. 3+

Homerpalooza - Have I mentioned how I don't care if Homer's fatness is exaggerated, or if he is beat up? A lot of good gags, though. Like shooting fish in a barrel. 2-.

Simpsons - Season 8

2007-12-10T15:26:00.000-08:00

Treehouse of Horror VII - I especially like "The Genesis Tub", but I've seen "Citizen Kang" one too many times. 2-

You Only Move Twice - This goes up in rank as I learn more useless Bond trivia. 2-

The Homer They Fall - I believe I've mentioned how I don't care when Homer gets fat or beat up. 4+

Burns, Baby Burns - And I care even less about Rodney Dangerfield. 4

Bart After Dark - Maybe I'd care more if I had seen "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas". 4

A Milhouse Divided - Homer actually does something sweet without f***ing up. Lots of funny gags related to Milhouse's mom. Poor Milhouse. 3+.

Lisa's Date With Density - Hard to go wrong when you start with a "Back to the Future" pun. Plot slightly pat, but fun. 3-.

Hurricane Neddy - eh. 4

The New World

2007-12-10T15:09:00.000-08:00

What better way to get the horrid taste of cinepoo from your mouth than with a cool draught of Christian Bale? The movie is very European in its pacing... which means "slow". I have an internal struggle with such films, as my life never runs at such a pace. If people talked and reacted like this in real life around me, I would sit there rotating my hand... "yeessss? come ON already!" But a stream of stunning cinematography and delicate plot layering lead me through with little complaint. The story was well-thought-out and lovely, the acting was sensual, and the title was as deep and multi-faceted as the characters (even - gasp! - the leading lady). Rated 2-.

The Fast & The Furious 3: Tokyo Drift

2007-12-10T14:52:00.000-08:00

Right on the heels of "The Phantom Menace", I'm forced to trod through this turd. (And somehow I doubt that I missed any important points in the second installation of the series.) In its favor, I rather enjoyed the soundtrack. And some of the cinematography and special effects were very impressive in their styling. I could even (try to) overlook how female characters serve as vapid arm candy chattel, if that were my main complaint. But the "acting" ranks as some of the *worst* I have ever experienced. I was absolutely shocked to hear that the lead male has multiple credits to his name. He makes Mark Wahlberg look like Olivier. At least "The Phantom Menace" tried to follow a cohesive thread of plot (albeit a boring one). Rated 8-.

Rifftrax: The Phantom Menace

2007-12-10T14:34:00.000-08:00

As a Star Wars afficionado, I remember waiting for this movie to come out. (I even liked the 'new, improved' versions of the original series at the time.) The reviews were tepid, and money was tight, and it was still a big deal for me to pay the big bucks to see the film at the Ziegfield Theater in NYC. As they say, the journey is more important than the destination... particularly so in the case of this film. Embarrassingly bad. But when you add the talent of the folks from MST3K to the mix, you get me willing to waste another two hours of my life. Thanks to Rifftrax, at least I had fun at the destination. But I had forgotten just *how bad* the movie really is. I mean, it had the velocity to stop my decades of enjoyment of the entire franchise: Rated 8. And that may be tinged with generosity. (Why does nobody else seem to note how Lucas stole JarJar's pathetic shtick from "Full House's" Stephanie Tanner?)

Star Trek Misc Klingon

2007-12-06T16:19:00.000-08:00

Barge of the Dead - Star Trek does religious investigation well. Exploring the inner conflict between science and mythology always proves as interesting a journey as finding new lands. Or maybe it's just me. 2-

A Matter of Honor - All the force where it should be, all the jokes where they belong, and an all-around enjoyable episode. A bit cliche in the concept, but well-executed. 3+

The Sword of Kahless - One ring to rule them all! Now, with 99% less hugging. 3-

Misc Star Trek Enterprise

2007-12-06T16:02:00.000-08:00

Judgement - Neither inventive nor original, but not as annoying as that first episode. The writing could have been better to make the lawyer's quick turn-around more believable. Rated 5-.

These are the V0yages - The final episode, and I didn't miss out on anything from not having seen the series. Probably because it is more like a ST:TNG episode. Which makes it better. Even though the actors are obviously ten years older. Rated 4+

First Flight - Flashback of schmalzy testosteresque good ol' boy nostalgia. Still not as annoying as the first episode, and at least the camera didn't focus on T'Pol's breasts the entire time she was on screen. Rated 5.

Garden Junk

2007-12-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

I have several books about garage sales, "creative" interior decoration, functional "recycling", etc. But this book lives up to its name. When she says "junk", this lady means rusty old chairs, old wooden crap with peeling paint, natty painting reproductions, and the like. All of the shabby, none of the chic. Shabby chic is not my style, but I could at least find some redeeming qualities in this book if it detailed some creative uses for ugly crap. This book, however, consists mostly of pictures of crappy crap piled on crappy tables in various areas of this lady's junk-filled yard (affectionately dubbed "The Garden Hutte", but with no whimsy to follow). The sparse text goes something like this: "Can you believe I paid $50 for this rusty old wheelbarrow? I have thirty of them, but I can always use another! I can't believe I passed one by in 1982 at my favorite salvage store!" No, I can't believe that you *took* that rustbucket into your yard, and that you have no more creative ideas for it than to collect some rusty watering cans in it. And this book has others in its series? Oyyy, this lady knows somebody important to be so well-published.... Very rare to see this: Rated 9.

Northern Exposure - Season 3 (9 episodes)

2007-11-28T15:26:00.000-08:00

Lacking much time, I have to rely on memory and summary here:
In general, the series ebbed this season but is beginning to flow again. I do, however, miss the dream sequences. And I find Chris really annoying. It makes me reflect on my college experience: I originally watched NE b/c I heard that it was created by some dude from Hampshire College. Chris is obviously *the* archetypal Hampshire student, and I probably used to like his character a lot. In theory, I still don't have all much bock with the dirty philo-hippie type, but he annoys me b/c of the way he discredits the system and eschews 'formal education'. If you went to Hampshire, you still had some formal education, dude. A pretty expensive one, at that, and you probably weren't so smart when you went in. *And* folks in a real town just don't converse anything like that. But I digress.
"The Body in Question" 5-
"Roots" 6+
"A-Hunting We Will Go" 6+
"Get Real" 3+
"Seoul Mates" (not so original a plotline anymore) 4-
"Dateline: Cicely" 5
"Our Tribe" 2-
"Things Become Exinct" 4
"Burning Down the House" 4-

Eragon

2007-11-28T12:37:00.000-08:00

Based on my only being able to plod through about five pages of the book upon which it was based, I expected this film to be pretty darn horrible. So, I had a bottle of wine on hand to aid the viewing experience. ...which helped greatly.
While the plot is absolutely derivative of Star Wars (Uncle Ben! Obi Wan!), Lord of the Rings, and the Earthsea Trilogy (read that, instead), it did feature some pretty decent special effects (and minimal cheesy ones), and a really cute baby dragon (which was conveniently allowed to bypass puberty in the flap of a wing). Nevertheless, the plot and characters did not stray from logic and character for the sake of drama as much as many blockbusters do and thus did not offend my sensibilities *nearly* as much as, say, Spiderman 3.
I don't know why everybody was so impressed by it being written by a seventeen year old, though. It *obviously* was written by a seventeen year old. There's not a shred of originality in town, and the plot pivots on the notion that dragons (the only ladies around) cannot live without their riders, but the riders can live on without their dragons. (Oh, to live the fantasy life a seventeen year old white boy!) If it were a book, I would have thrown "Eragon" the movie across the room like I did "Return of the King".
Still -- merci au vin -- it was not as bad as I reckoned it would be. Rated 6-.

Jane Eyre (1970)

2007-11-15T18:38:00.000-08:00

Dang, there are lots of versions of this fine novel. While I agree that the actors were *really* too old, I didn't find this version as bad as these "experts". (Granted, I have otherwise only seen the Orson Welles version.) I appreciated how Jane asserted herself as an equal and how this adaptation presented more of Jane's life after Thornwood. And the acting showed (the) depth (of inappropriate age). The '70s TV production values were somewhat of a distraction, but this is probably the only time I have noted restraint in over-orchestrating from the noted composer. Rated 4.

Orca, The Killer Whale

2007-11-15T18:22:00.000-08:00

You know, I thought that this movie would be complete crap. I figured that it would be a "Jaws" ripoff (not that I've seen "Jaws"). It certainly wasn't terribly good, but it certainly had its own story, and it wasn't a horror flick. Interspecies melodrama involving fishing boats on the high seas... "Free Willy" may have stolen a page or two from this flick. It was nice to see Richard Harris in a non-mumbling role, and the (not Bo Derrick) female character was not 100% disposable (by 70s standards). Rated 5-

Help!

2007-11-15T18:15:00.001-08:00

I know that "A Hard Days Night" is a cinematically superior film, but I've always had a soft spot for "Help!" Perhaps it is because it was so difficult to come across in my formative years. (A recurring theme waiting for the DVD.) But the goofy comedy has always given me a thrill.
Finally on DVD, the image is restored to its colorful glory. (Watching the appropriate "Anthology" episode, featuring pre-renovation clips, concurrently really drove this home.) I wished that it had had more special features, however. A few little documentaries hardly seemed worth the extra disc... The documentaries were fair enough, but I'd've thought that there would have been more in the vaults to bring forth for the fans. Even the "lost scene" is a misnomer. No scene here. Just discussion of it interspersed with some stills. *sigh*
Film: Rated 2

Beatles Anthology - Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

2007-11-15T17:38:00.000-08:00

Part 2: British Beatlemania, Rated 2
Part 3: US Beatlemania, Rated 2
Part 4: through Help!, Rated 2

I was not in the country when this series was shown on TV, and the thing that strikes me most watching the DVDs is how much *music* there is. Yes, they're a musical group, but I've never seen such a thing so close to music videos (not integral to a plot) on Prime Time. Especially with the end credits, I wonder if they actually showed the whole thing (as opposed to the usual, where the credits are squeezed into a portion of the screen while a voiceover blots out the music).
I also appreciate the even-handedness showing Beatlemania in other parts of the globe. I am so used to hearing that The Beatles were nothing, really, until they broke it big in America. We may have accepted them as superpowers, but really we were just late to catch the phenomenon.

Beatles Anthology - Part 1

2007-10-26T15:27:00.001-07:00

To present a documentary of The Beatles is a big order. It took decades before they were ready to reflect on the tumultuous times. It was particularly problematic that John couldn't have presented his opinions in interviews current with those of the rest of the group. Culling appropriate 'answers' from interviews past didn't really make a level playing field (John, especially, had different tones and opinions in the different eras in his life), but it's the best they could do. The first part in the series does an admirable job presenting and condensing the first 20 years of the Lads' lives. I wish that they had released a CD with the music that had inspired them. More than just a ten second skiffle clip would be great, especially of the obscure (to me) stuff. Rated 2.

DS9 - The Way of the Warrior

2007-10-26T15:18:00.000-07:00

From what I've seen of the series, I'm not the biggest fan of Deep Space 9. It seems much more soap opera than episodic (or even scientific) compared to the previous Star Trek series. Since I've seen "choice" episodes singularly, I need a lot of filling in to understand what is going on and who is what. It also seems much more TV than the others... ST:TNG, in particular, often impresses me with its cinematic quality despite the small screen format.
I also don't appreciate how the script will often say, "Captain - you'd better come and see what's here on the radar!" vs. "Captain, come to the bridge. Radar has just revealed a swarm of Klingons!"... which would save some time on the ship, but I guess isn't as suspenseful on a Sunday afternoon.
That being said, this episode presented an admirable internal conflict of Worf's Klingon roots. Although I was thinking that the Changeling sweep at the beginning or the security guard's explanation in the bar of how Changelingness worked would prove important to the plot at a later point. Rated 4.

A Bunch of Simpsons Episodes - Season 7

2007-10-26T15:03:00.001-07:00

Sketchy recollections, as the smoke seems to be influencing my memory. And it doesn't help when several days pass between viewing and blogging.

Bart the Fink - I enjoy when a series of events begins with something completely unrelated ($100 from a will enables Bart to get a checkbook, hence Krusty fakes his death.) Good stuff 2/3.

Lisa the Iconoclast - I like Lisa as an iconoclast and amateur historian, but I don't like cheesy endings just to keep the status quo. Rated 3/4.

Homer the Smithers - Enjoyable plotline. Homer as the lovable dolt isn't my favorite thread, but it was fun to see clips of Smithers on vacation and Mr. Burns behind the scenes. Rated 4+.

The Day the Violence Died - Do Lester & Eliza ever appear again? The rivalry reminds me of Maggie's baby nemesis and thus not terribly original. I've always liked the Schoolhouse Rock parody, however. Rated 4+.

A Fish Called Selma - Any appearance of Jub-Jub brightens my day. And the episode seems quite timely. The American culture's peak obsession of celebrity and its shams and stunts makes you question if any of it is real. Rated 3.

American Dreamz

2007-10-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

With wildfires raging outside, I needed some very fluffy entertainment, and this delivered. The personality impersonations were quite amusing, and there were many decent jokes. I have no idea why they had the "Jewish" contestant, however, as he did nothing for the plot (another character would have better served it), and the 'novelty act' part was already taken. (He did, however, look a lot like my brother.) The ending was pretty lame, but I really expected nothing (as I do from American Idol), so I'll give it a rating of 4-.

Orgazmo - Unrated

2007-10-19T15:15:00.000-07:00

I've gotten used to Trey Parker looking so bitter and paunchy that I was surprised to see him looking so Faux-Mormon-Good-Looking in this film. I guess he had to work out for the fight scenes... and now, clearly, he does not.
I'd seen this movie before (not the unrated - but I couldn't honestly tell the difference), but I guess it was a few years ago now. I had no idea.
I like the movie a lot. I laughed and laughed. There were many brilliant moments. But then there were many moments where it *could have* been brilliant, and they just didn't take that extra step. Which keeps it roadblocked at rated 3.

Northern Exposure - Season 3 (Two Episodes)

2007-10-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

Animals R Us -- Did Quentin Tarantino guest write this episode? He's known for writing not how people talk. I went to film school, and I, apparently, am not able to opine half as much on cinematic esoterica as the people of Cicely. And the ostrich farm line was pretty predictable. The part about the reincarnated dog was cute, though. Rated 5.

Jules & Joel -- Also a very predictable episode, but the end was pretty cute, for a holiday special episode. Rated 4/5.

Star Trek TNG - Redemption

2007-10-19T14:06:00.000-07:00

Watching this, I kept thinking, 'Star Trek, Star Wars'... how much more I would have enjoyed watching this as a movie than I enjoyed the second set of Star Wars movies. Not that that's necessarily saying a lot. Those movies are mostly crap. But this two-part tv episode (coupled with the Sins of the Father episode and edited down) would have been just fine as a movie. Rated 2.

Roberto Benigni's Pinnochio

2007-10-17T11:38:00.000-07:00

This film has always been described as legendarily bad. Yet, it was a huge hit in its homeland of Italy. To ensure that I wasn't just mis-judging it as a turd in translation, I took the extra effort to not only watch but to read the movie.
It started out quite well. The set design and production values are incredible. Clearly, a lot of love went into this grand vision. Apparently, Benigni dreamed of making this film for decades. ...and perhaps it may have worked with a Benigni thirty-five years younger. But the moment that Pinnochio was born... the word "creepy" isn't even adequate. Casting himself in the lead was the single largest, irreparable directorial mistake.
But besides the age factor (seemingly, he tries to counter this by casting creepy man-boys in all of the juvenile roles), Benigni imparts exactly zero pathos in the rascally imp. I remember reading the book when I was very young and having the impression that Pinnochio was merely naive and gullible. Benigni's Pinnochio is not simply mischievous, he is a complete jackass from the moment his tongue is carved. (Aside: How do people know that he is a puppet? Except for a thin layer of Data makeup and a stupid hat made of breadcrumbs[?!], he looks completely human. I don't get it.) I'll give that Gepetto feels some fatherly 'unconditional love', but how on Earth could the Blue Fairy possibly have that kind of affection for him? What a bunch of friggin' enablers. By the end of the film, I still don't believe that he has a good heart.
Oh -- and did I mention that this film is Rated G? Who on the MPAA made this decision? The old-school German Brothers Grimm? We witness a gruesome hanging to the death, a shark eating with effects more realistic than in "A Perfect Storm", and scary death-bunnies that would be more at home in a Terry Gilliam film. Not that I didn't *want* to see this character meet his demise (and *not* be reincarnated like some feral cat), but a pre-teen me probably would have had nightmares for weeks.
I feel dirty about it, but I do feel compelled give a lot of credit to the fantastic artistic design, however, and salvage Pinnochio's scraps of wood into something Rated 8.

Northern Exposure - Oy, Wilderness (Season 3)

2007-10-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

Fleischman, your displaced city boy routine is getting old. You've been in Alaska for almost a year. We know that you hate it, but - since you're no longer fighting your assignment - you should be somewhat resigned to it, or at least understand a minimum about nature by now. (You took biology, right?) And importing Shelley's past seemed somewhat of a repeat, too. But even with those negatives, it still more or less worked. Excellent casting of Shelley's best friend. Rated 4.

Star Trek Voyager - The Omega Directive

2007-10-15T12:39:00.000-07:00

...apparently more important than the Prime Directive.
Reminded me somewhat of Contact with its theme of science-as-religion. That being said, it's quite a spiritually movingly episode. Rated 2.