This movie, however, I found to be *complete* crap.
I hated how it looked (brown video game), how it sounded (LOUD!), and couldn't have cared less about the plot (so I walked out).
I especially hate when ultra-testosterone movies try to wedge in a totally out-of-place female character. The SPARTAN mother is going to get all weepy when her son is taken to train for battle? Really? A SPARTAN mother? Yeah, that wispy chick whose presence is accompanied by Enya music. *That* SPARTAN mother.
I've heard that back in that time in history a woman was three times more likely to die in childbirth than a guy was to be killed in battle. In SPARTA, this should mean for one badass lady. Not some lame Arwen wannabe. (But you gotta appease the chicks who who heart their "i"s, who were dragged to watch this turd on a date...)
I also hated the battle scenes, which digitally throw on the battlefield the entire population of Greece. Believable. Yeah.
...but at least it was LOUD!
All this to make our soldiers feel manlier and more just? (When I couldn't help but to think that the Persians had the cooler work ethic.)
Rated 9. Sorry, folks.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Transformers: The New Movie
...because I couldn't even make it through the first half hour of that animated fiasco!
This movie has all of the elements that I hate in big movies: Corny dialog, racial caricature and stereotype, a super-reliance on special effects, a female lead whose *sole* purpose in the film is to witness the greatness of the otherwise-lame male lead, a 24-year-old high-level FBI hot-female scientist as *the* other female presence (besides mom), and even the Magic Negro. (Oh - and why did they even try to say that they were in "Las Vegas" while featuring the obvious features of the LA skyline?)
... despite this, I didn't really hate the movie. The actor playing the male lead was quite sympathetic, even. (I hear that he tried to channel George McFly, so that definitely worked for him.) I wasn't so disgusted that I couldn't at least acknowledge that I would *totally* be into this movie if I were a 13-year-old rich white boy.
Not to say that the movie wasn't crap, but you could do worse than to earn my near-neutrality: Rated 6.
This movie has all of the elements that I hate in big movies: Corny dialog, racial caricature and stereotype, a super-reliance on special effects, a female lead whose *sole* purpose in the film is to witness the greatness of the otherwise-lame male lead, a 24-year-old high-level FBI hot-female scientist as *the* other female presence (besides mom), and even the Magic Negro. (Oh - and why did they even try to say that they were in "Las Vegas" while featuring the obvious features of the LA skyline?)
... despite this, I didn't really hate the movie. The actor playing the male lead was quite sympathetic, even. (I hear that he tried to channel George McFly, so that definitely worked for him.) I wasn't so disgusted that I couldn't at least acknowledge that I would *totally* be into this movie if I were a 13-year-old rich white boy.
Not to say that the movie wasn't crap, but you could do worse than to earn my near-neutrality: Rated 6.
ST:TNG "The Outcast"
When I was a senior in HS, I visited OSU to compete for some sort of presidential scholarship. One part of the competition was to write an essay about what you felt to be the most important show on television and why. *Every* person I spoke with after the fact had answered "Star Trek: The Next Generation". (I did not.) And they "why" was b/c it addressed all sorts of social issues in such a thorough manner. While the season that we have been watching (yeah, I won't get to that through the backlog) came out after that time, I had been coming to understand what all these OSU-bound Trekkies were trying to say.
This episode, however, left me cold (on a topic I would otherwise be really hot about). (Androgyny is HOT!) This is an analogy that simply does not work in reverse. Seriously... if your species is physically androgynous, why would it be such a horrific sin to have feelings toward manliness or femininity? As long as you pair up with the proper counterpart, there wouldn't be any way for society to know about how you function behind closed doors. You'd still both have the same parts, so it's not as though you'd apply for a marriage license and be turned away for lack of proper gender.
And, in the end, it really made it as though the "solution" was *really* simple. The Janai'i being seemed pleased with the therapy, and I'm not feeling the tragedy for Ryker. (He'll find another species to love next week.)
Rated 5-.
This episode, however, left me cold (on a topic I would otherwise be really hot about). (Androgyny is HOT!) This is an analogy that simply does not work in reverse. Seriously... if your species is physically androgynous, why would it be such a horrific sin to have feelings toward manliness or femininity? As long as you pair up with the proper counterpart, there wouldn't be any way for society to know about how you function behind closed doors. You'd still both have the same parts, so it's not as though you'd apply for a marriage license and be turned away for lack of proper gender.
And, in the end, it really made it as though the "solution" was *really* simple. The Janai'i being seemed pleased with the therapy, and I'm not feeling the tragedy for Ryker. (He'll find another species to love next week.)
Rated 5-.
Monday, August 25, 2008
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