Thursday, September 4, 2008

Knight Rider - The Movie

Wow, I can't believe that writing about this wasn't at the top of my list. Rated 9, 9, once again 9!
It's been a long time since I've actively booed and hurled things at the screen, but seriously... monkeys throwing feces on a wall until the poo dripped into the shape of words could have come up with better dialogue, especially for the 29-year-old accomplished female professor... whose father still considers her less to keep track of her life than the stoner neighbor he hasn't seen in 10 years. Comparatively, "Battlefield Earth" is the gem L. Ron Hubbard claims it to be. oohhh, my head hurts.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Bullshit: Season 5

I enjoy watching this show, but it's almost always just a little bit libertarian-off for me to *actually* enjoy it. I mean, the writing is quite funny, but Penn averts his perspective and redirects it to anomaly, while also acknowledging scientific method, as if he is using it. (And you can find a scientist to support just about any talking point.)

e.g., "Hating Walmart is Bullshit". He "acknowledges" that *some* folks have a bone to pick, b/c 150,000 employees proved in court that they were treated illegally. The very next statistic is "but that's no big deal, b/c there are over 1 million Walmart employees!" Seriously? Over 10% of a company's workforce is able to prove in a very pro-business court system that the company mishandles them, and you don't think this might be a systemic problem that warrants criticism?

Nah... b/c there are some Trekkie-types who are printing unfunny anti-Walmart t-shirts! He 'hits his point home' by bringing forward a poor girl who believes that she would be unemployed if the anti-Walmart lobby had had their way. Seriously? If Walmart hadn't come to your neighborhood, there would be no better job in Chicago? Seriously?

The guy even boggles b/c the residents of his semi-depressed hometown don't want tear down the empty historic buildings downtown to build a Walmart, which would help folks not have to drive 20 miles to the 3 other nearby Walmarts. Yeah, I'd much rather have an abandoned Walmart warehouse in 5 years (too massive to repopulate), built with taxpayer incentives, than leave some empty pretty buildings where they are. I'd also like to chop down the rainforests to build a McDonalds.

Not to single out the episode I most clearly found to be Bullshit, but nearly every episode has some bit of double-standard reporting reminiscent of right-wing anger tactics. It's still funny, and I appreciate that at least there is some propaganda out there that's not from the crazy right-wing (certainly not as hateful as, say, Michael Savage), but it's still propaganda... hence not quite good. Rated 5.

Harold & Kumar: Guantanamo Bay

OMG, I almost PEED myself with laughter...
I mean, I liked "H&K: White Castle" just fine, but when I read that this one was not as good, it didn't remain at the top of my list of things to see.
Why would I be so enamored of a stoner movie? Probably b/c Kal Penn is not a stoner. Anything involving Seth Rogen? Looks pathetic. "Jay & Silent Bob"? Whatever. "Dazed & Confused"? Man, i hated that thing. (I did, however, totally dig "Dude, Where's My Car" - which I think of as more as "dumb kid" a la "Bill & Ted" than "stoner".)
This movie swam brilliantly through all of the stereotypes of "otherness". I haven't laughed this hard since... I don't remember when... (Last time I remember laughing like this was "Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy", which wasn't as overall good.) Rated 3+.

Baby Mama

Despite the presence of the Greg Kinnear (the cinematic equivalent of Kenny G), I enjoyed this film immensely. I worried that it might be too ya-ya-sisterhoody... but no. Solidly funny and sidestepping all the potholes that make "chickflicks" so pussy. I should have more faith in you, Tina Fey. I can't decide whose talent/ career I envy more: Tina Fey or Samantha Bee... (If I had idols...) My gut feeling is to say SB, because her political commentaries consistently rock my world. And she has the Canadian thing going for her... but it may just be b/c I've seen more of SB. (Thank you, dailyshow.com.) TF is certainly doing a lot to generally increase the tolerance/ acceptance of "female content" into the heart of mainstream comedy, while also significantly smartening it up. Thank you, ladies.
But I digress... "Baby Mama" is no "Citizen Kane", but it's certainly one of the better disposable comedies I've seen in recent memory. I laughed and laughed (and don't remember a real cringe). Rated 3-.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

300

This movie, however, I found to be *complete* crap.
I hated how it looked (brown video game), how it sounded (LOUD!), and couldn't have cared less about the plot (so I walked out).
I especially hate when ultra-testosterone movies try to wedge in a totally out-of-place female character. The SPARTAN mother is going to get all weepy when her son is taken to train for battle? Really? A SPARTAN mother? Yeah, that wispy chick whose presence is accompanied by Enya music. *That* SPARTAN mother.
I've heard that back in that time in history a woman was three times more likely to die in childbirth than a guy was to be killed in battle. In SPARTA, this should mean for one badass lady. Not some lame Arwen wannabe. (But you gotta appease the chicks who who heart their "i"s, who were dragged to watch this turd on a date...)
I also hated the battle scenes, which digitally throw on the battlefield the entire population of Greece. Believable. Yeah.
...but at least it was LOUD!
All this to make our soldiers feel manlier and more just? (When I couldn't help but to think that the Persians had the cooler work ethic.)
Rated 9. Sorry, folks.

Transformers: The New Movie

...because I couldn't even make it through the first half hour of that animated fiasco!
This movie has all of the elements that I hate in big movies: Corny dialog, racial caricature and stereotype, a super-reliance on special effects, a female lead whose *sole* purpose in the film is to witness the greatness of the otherwise-lame male lead, a 24-year-old high-level FBI hot-female scientist as *the* other female presence (besides mom), and even the Magic Negro. (Oh - and why did they even try to say that they were in "Las Vegas" while featuring the obvious features of the LA skyline?)
... despite this, I didn't really hate the movie. The actor playing the male lead was quite sympathetic, even. (I hear that he tried to channel George McFly, so that definitely worked for him.) I wasn't so disgusted that I couldn't at least acknowledge that I would *totally* be into this movie if I were a 13-year-old rich white boy.
Not to say that the movie wasn't crap, but you could do worse than to earn my near-neutrality: Rated 6.

ST:TNG "The Outcast"

When I was a senior in HS, I visited OSU to compete for some sort of presidential scholarship. One part of the competition was to write an essay about what you felt to be the most important show on television and why. *Every* person I spoke with after the fact had answered "Star Trek: The Next Generation". (I did not.) And they "why" was b/c it addressed all sorts of social issues in such a thorough manner. While the season that we have been watching (yeah, I won't get to that through the backlog) came out after that time, I had been coming to understand what all these OSU-bound Trekkies were trying to say.
This episode, however, left me cold (on a topic I would otherwise be really hot about). (Androgyny is HOT!) This is an analogy that simply does not work in reverse. Seriously... if your species is physically androgynous, why would it be such a horrific sin to have feelings toward manliness or femininity? As long as you pair up with the proper counterpart, there wouldn't be any way for society to know about how you function behind closed doors. You'd still both have the same parts, so it's not as though you'd apply for a marriage license and be turned away for lack of proper gender.
And, in the end, it really made it as though the "solution" was *really* simple. The Janai'i being seemed pleased with the therapy, and I'm not feeling the tragedy for Ryker. (He'll find another species to love next week.)
Rated 5-.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Backlog

Seriously - how do people find time to maintain blogs? *sigh*

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

The Golden Compass

While I was reading the book, I kept wondering how on earth (or an alternate universe) they could possibly turn this into a movie. Not just in a "Lord of the Rings"-too-many-storylines-to-decide way, but because so much of the book is based on internal emotions and perceptions.
All in all, I think that they did a pretty fair job of translating it to the screen. Even though none of the characters (except for Lyra) looked *anything* like how I imagined them. They had so much 'action' to pack in that they were deftly able to keep it out of the internal realm. I suspect, though, that it goes too fast if you haven't read the book - much the same (but not as extreme) as the third Harry Potter movie (after the two dreadfully ssslllooowww ones) whipped you through at a crazy pace.
I was most disappointed by The bear fight, which turned a *brilliant* moment in the book into a scene straight out of "Back to the Future" (which is one of my all-time faves, but that doesn't make altering a story to quote it ok).
I also expected the movie to go on for at least one more scene. It ended completely differently than the book. Changing some things was fine, even expected in the Hollywood canon, but this major change left me completely confused (not to mention eliminating a great cliff-hanger).
I hear that box office receipts were disappointing, so they might not continue making the series, which would be a shame. I'd continue to watch, even when it's rated 4.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

"The Golden Compass" by Philip Pullman

First, what I didn't like:
1) I'm getting pretty tired of the plot device of "the chosen one". From "Star Wars" to "Harry Potter" to "The Matrix", it's a bit formulaic by now (and by "by now" I mean "since the New Testament became a hit").
2) It must be a boy thing to envision your spirit solidifying at puberty. ("Men were quite clear that they had read their formative fiction around the age of 15," quotes one study on the reading habits of adults) If I were remotely the same person that I was when I was 13, I would cry. Daily. Just like I did then.
3) It's a kid's book. Yeah, so is Harry Potter, but I'd been reading some more grown-up stuff recently, so it seemed like a confusing step back.
4) It was explained how the story takes place in a world similar to ours, but not ours, in small print in a random credits page, so I didn't know until after I read th book, which totally confused me, trying to figure out when it was supposed to be and stuff...
5) How could they so purposefully insult the church? Heresy! The pope should issue a fatwa on the author!

Still, it was fun for a kid's book, with some heady stuff, and I'll gladly continue reading the series. Rated 3-.

Albums by Year

Yeah, there about 20 things that I haven't yet taken the time to write down, but Felix (inspired by a Llama, etc.) posited an interesting exercise: best album by year, from the year you were born. I excluded compilations and soundtracks, which seemed to pare down my collection by a significant amount, and by "best" I mean what I enjoy the most. ...so if you think "Back to the Egg" sucks, well, you're probably right, but I like it, anyways:

1975 Queen, A Night at the Opera
1976 Stevie Wonder, Songs in the Key of Life
1977 Gilberto Gil, Refavela
1978 The Rutles (kind of a soundtrack, I guess, but the best I could come up with)
1979 Paul McCartney, Back to the Egg
1980 The Cure, Boys Don’t Cry
1981 Depeche Mode, Speak & Spell
1982 Michael Jackson, Thriller
1983 Prince, 1999
1984 Madonna, Like a Virgin
1985 Dead Milkmen, Big Lizard in My Backyard
1986 They Might Be Giants
1987 George Michael, Faith
1988 kdlang, Shadowland
1989 B-52s, Cosmic Thing
1990 Jane’s Addiction, Ritual de lo Habitual
1991 Marisa Monte, Mais
1992 Suzane Vega, 99.9*F
1993 Bjork, Debut
1994 Tori Amos, Under the Pink
1995 Pizzicato 5, The Sound of Music
1996 Beck, Odelay
1997 Les Elles
1998 Soul Coughing, El Oso / or / Rufus Wainwright
1999 Cibo Matto, Stereo Type A
2000 Golec uOrkiestra, 2
2001 Gorillaz
2002 Flaming Lips, Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots
2003 Kaada, Thank You for Giving Me Your Precious Time
2004 Of Montreal, Satanic Panic in the Attic
2005 Petra Haden, The Who Sells Out
2006 Sean Lennon, Friendly Fire / or / Regina Spektor, Begin to Hope
2007 Cocorosie, Adventures of Ghosthorse and Stillborn
2008 Flight of the Conchords???

2008 isn't over yet, and that's probably the only album I've even (mostly) heard from this year. It takes time for stuff to filter through to me (or to stand out from the crowd on kcrw).

I had *huge* troubles populating the early 80s, which is surprising - a period of great tunes - but not many noteworthy albums. In fact, 1990 beat DM’s “Violator” only b/c I could find *no* other good album in 1981, and I was going on the premise that I'd only have one nominee per artist. It was hard work to pare down the list from 1989-1999, which makes sense - the albums that I could sneak to buy in HS, then when I had freedom in college, and finally as a compulsive concertgoer living in NYC. The few albums that I know and cherish from the last few years all seemed to stem from the same year or two, so, overall, competition was uneven...
I agree w/ the llama that it may not be worth the time it took to make the list, but so it goes.

Lost, Season 3, the second half

It's almost as if they asked the writers to hurry up and shove out whatever dreck they could before the strike, and then they actually worked on developing the scripts *during* the strike.
The second half of the season is actually interesting again! While it doesn't have the same excitement and intrigue of the first season, at least I don't feel as if I'm being dragged through a drinking game, and I'll continue watching without resentment. Rated 4+.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Wall-E

The best movie I have seen in years, I think.
What's amazing is that the first third is, essentially, a silent movie. Then, for the next 20 minutes, there are no more than three or so words exchanged. It's only in the last third that there is any dialogue. Usually, I'm a words girl. The plot has to be reeeally well-executed for me to have any interest in a low-dialogue production. But this was amazing.
It will probably never make the Rated 1 in my book (which cannot happen in the first viewing) because the end is a *little* bit too glossy, but it comes really close. So good. Rated 2.

Batman: The Dark Knight

Babygoat playing in daycare while I'm not working for one day has given Mr.Goat and me the unbelievable luxury of free time, which the desert heat dictates that I should spend in a nice, air conditioned theatre, instead of shoveling concrete in the backyard (which would be the practical alternative).
I was pleasantly surprised to enjoy this movie. After years of dreck being thrown from the graphic novel to the screen, I am so very, very turned-off to 'comic book' movies... To the best of my recollection, I haven't really liked one since the first "Spiderman". There were a few that I didn't wholly *dislike*, but nothing that I consider "good". ...but i whatever ads I saw didn't look too horrible, we had the time, and at the very least I could ogle (the very talented) Christian Bale. Yet even though this episode in the series did not contain any Bale-push-up workout scenes, I actually liked it.
A few things I did *not* like: 1) turning the Joker into "a freak who wears makeup". This is not what the Joker is. He has a backstory (as instable as it may be). I know how hard it is to make a bad guy have pathos and still be a bad guy, but his pigmentation is one constant of his character. Blah. 2) The movie was about 30 minutes too long. They could have split the whole 2-face conflict into a separate movie. Instead, I found myself thinking, "omg, ANOTHER fight?" about two story arcs before the end of the show. Really, they didn't need any additional explosions or vehicles. Blah-blah.
Despite these flaws (kudos for at least having the token female in an advanced stage of her career at least looking like she's in her 30s), at some point, I actually thought "this is what I had wished the movie in 1989 had been like". Rated 3.

Backlog

Obviously, I haven't "made" the time to register my consumption in quite some time... so now I have to rely on memories, which may be erratic. Ohwell.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

"The Mother Tongue" by Bill Bryson

This book vacillated between the incredibly profound and the somewhat trivial. I adored the sections when it made history come alive, in the same way that Connections made science and warfare relevant, by describing the ways in which conquests or trends influenced language (the Norman invasion, e.g.). Occasionally, however, the text delved too deeply into trivialities, such as the fifty ways a certain word might be pronounced. Some paragraphs were only of skimmable interest... but not so many, so the book still gets a 2/3.

Juno

I liked this movie. I'm not sure that I bought a 20-year-old in the role of a 16-year-old... it made her, by nature, a bit more comfortable in he snarkiness than I'm willing to give for even a self-assured high schooler, while her not-boyfriend was so much more believable as a person... but I guess that was supposed to be the point... In the end, what I really loved was the ending. I feared that it might go into the saccharine happy-ending of, say, Saved! ...but it did not... which is rare. I especially liked that even though the man-with-power blew things because he has the maturity of a 16-year-old, it didn't stop the women from getting what they needed out of the situation. Not groundbreaking in style, but unusually satisfying as a story. Brava. (Rated 3+)

Friday, May 30, 2008

"Kids in the Hall" Live

I had seen the KITH on their tours in '94 & in '99/00(?). The first tour was brilliant. By the second, they were obviously having one last hurrah. The sketches were still funny, but they lacked some chemistry. I was excited to have the chance to see this tour, too, but I didn't have the highest hopes. The theatre was beautiful, and ...boy was I wrong. Back with new material, KITH were great. They looked good again, and their new sketches were hilarious... great timing and arrangement. They reprised a few characters, but brought back only one (slightly altered) sketch... which just happens to be my favorite. Bravo, rated 1-.

"Slaughterhouse Five" by Kurt Vonnegut

I should love this book -- It's about time travel (indeed, I can see an influence on "The Time Traveler's Wife")... and Germany -- ...but I didn't. I mean, it wasn't bad. It was OK. There were even a few profound moments. (A good foil to "The Matrix" in its presentation of acceptance of fate vs. free-will.) But, in the end, it totally reminded me of those old sci-fi books (which I associate w/ the 50s, but - as I'm learning from the astronaut series - 1969 was not that far ahead, in the mainstream)... Written from the pov of a privileged-and-intelligent-but-somehow-"off" white male, surrounded only by white men, except for those disposable, peripheral token ladies that they begrudgingly allow into their lives... the wives and daughters, who they don't really respect... well, suffice it to say that kind of literature alienates me. But that's just me. I'm sure the book is well above average, but I can only give it a 4.

"Song of Solomon" by Toni Morrison

I feel so often bombarded by mediocrity that I find myself astounded when I encounter a work so beautiful as this... The characters, the language, the story... great literature. Rated 1.