Transformers: The New Movie

...because I couldn't even make it through the first half hour of that animated fiasco!
This movie has all of the elements that I hate in big movies: Corny dialog, racial caricature and stereotype, a super-reliance on special effects, a female lead whose *sole* purpose in the film is to witness the greatness of the otherwise-lame male lead, a 24-year-old high-level FBI hot-female scientist as *the* other female presence (besides mom), and even the Magic Negro. (Oh - and why did they even try to say that they were in "Las Vegas" while featuring the obvious features of the LA skyline?)
... despite this, I didn't really hate the movie. The actor playing the male lead was quite sympathetic, even. (I hear that he tried to channel George McFly, so that definitely worked for him.) I wasn't so disgusted that I couldn't at least acknowledge that I would *totally* be into this movie if I were a 13-year-old rich white boy.
Not to say that the movie wasn't crap, but you could do worse than to earn my near-neutrality: Rated 6.