Robin Hood - Prince of Thieves

I saw this in the theatre when it came out. We got very bored in Ohio, so I saw a lot of crap as a teen. A lot. Still, I probably considered this to be a fair movie at the time.
As a teen, I did not yet know the glorious voice of Alan Rickman, so I paid a quarter for this VHS to relive his performance.
For the first 15 minutes, I did not remember anything about the movie, and I thought that it might be better than I had anticipated, despite my apprehension that whenever I think of the annoying "magic negro" convention I think of Morgan Freeman in this movie.
Then Kevin Costner started to speak.
Whenever I think of Kevin Costner, I think of some ditzy rich twins from Georgia I temped with back in Ohio. They thought he was dreamy, and I never could understand why. Overpowered by his weasely appearance, I forgot that he also can't act. Whoa, was this bad. And his wasn't even the worst acting in the film.
When the love story kicked in, things got even worse. Classic story of a capable woman transformed into a helpless pretty thing. Gag-o-rama.
The film culminates in a glorious wedding rape scene. The Sheriff is so evil that he will force a marriage (to ensure the purity of the act) and then sexually perform, in a church, in front of an old witch and a priest, because the maid is ripe for his seed. That's a dedication to Evil that only scriptwriters can produce.
Fortunately, much of the movie consisted of lame filler battle scenes, through which I could fast-forward (until Rickman would appear).
During the hour that I actually endured, I caught two instances where a kick to the groin was intended to provide comic relief.
This was not merely bad, it was really bad. Rated 8.