The Short Films of David Lynch

A pleasant DVD surprise. The film historian in me especially enjoyed the introductions before each film.
1 Six Figures Getting Sick (Six Times) 2+. surreal art piece. i'd stop and watch it at a museum.
2 The Alphabet 4/5... eh.
3 The Grandmother 4/5. reminds me of what I remember of "The Wall" for some reason.
4 The Amputee... did not want to look right on my tv. can't comment. dragged, though.
5 The Cowboy and the Frenchman 2+. Hi-LARIOUS!
6 Premonitions Following an Evil Deed 2. beautiful idea. very interesting to watch

Dead Like Me - Forget Me Not

I'm surprised that this episode did not give me nightmares, the ending was so creepy. Very nice. Suspenseful. (With a special appearance by Yeardley Smith, who I haven't seen on screen since the days of Herman's Head.) 2-.

Star Trek - The Q and the Grey

The Q seem to have ever greater limitations as time goes on. You'd think that an omnipotent being could impregnate a species at will, and even make gestation instantaneous if so desired. But then there wouldn't be much of an episode, and I suppose it's fair. Rated 4-

The Simpsons - Season 8

Homer vs. the 18th Amendment - A pretty lame ending, what with just not having read the paper to the end. Besides, homemade beer isn't so hard to make. Rated 5.
Grade School Confidential - Cute and very adult, without being heavy. Reminds me somewhat of the episode where Milhouse's parents get divorced. Rated 3.
The Canine Mutiny - A little extra something so that it falls short of predictable. Rated 4/5.
The Old Man and the Lisa - Yes, I have the Lisa bias. But it's a great play on her character. Rated 2/3.
In Marge We Trust - I don't even think of this as a Marge episode. I think of it as Mr. Sparkle. And Mr. Sparkle is hilarious. Rated 2/3.

Star Trek - Death Wish

I like how "Q" is introduced to the "Voyager" series, especially how - through an encounter with a jaded philosopher Q - it can write off his previous lame behavior (*cough* Vash) in as a reaction to the dullness of continuum culture (which reminds me of a "Life in Hell" cartoon I pasted on my wall for many years that said something like "Wouldn't eternity get boring after a while?"). It gives me hope that future Q episodes will find him once again back to his mischief.
His counter-Q, however, ends disappointingly. If he truly wanted to be mortal just for a new experience, you'd think that he could savor the feeling of mortality for a few days (or decades) before ending it all. Q2's death seemed more of a lame device to neatly round out the episode (especially the taunting of Home) than a meaningful denouement. Rated 4.

Rifftrax - Star Wars III, Revenge of the Sith

Rifftrax introduces this movie with the description that it is known as the least offensive of the three Star Wars prequel films (and goes on to humorously detail analogies for what, exactly, this means). And I recall that when I saw this in the theatres I felt the same way and almost liked it. Watching it again, however, it's really quite boring. I'm sure somebody out there has analyzed the content in the form of a pie chart, and it has *got* to be 90% special effect battles and/or really dull exposition to drag us along the dull, dull plot. I remember before thinking that the final light saber duel was pretty cool, but now I just couldn't care about yet another fight, and that moody, moody boy. But nothing in particular stands out as particularly offensive (except the incongruity in the later movies that Leia 'barely' remembers her mother when Luke asks, where in this case Luke knew her for about thirty seconds more than her). It merely bores me to neutrality. Rated 5.

Dead Like Me - Ashes to Ashes

It's too bad that this series only lasted two seasons, because I only have one disc left to watch and it's really picking up steam. It balances so many storylines well - among the dead, the undead, and the living - and with honest emotion. And in doing so it doesn't contradict itself all too much. I'll be sad when it has finished. (Especially since I doubt that the last episode will wrap everything neatly. I don't know if they planned to end after only two seasons.) Rated 3+.

Northern Exposure - Cicely

I liked this episode, but I could have liked it a lot more. Perhaps I identified with it more it b/c Roslyn reminds me of so many of my college classmates. But probably more so b/c I like when folks learn about history. I would've liked it more if the history characters weren't played by folks in present-day town (more using character stereotype), especially b/c it reminded me of some other episode (which I can't think of at the moment). But I guess I understand why they did it that way. Rated 5+.

Northern Exposure: Our Wedding

Not really a bad episode, but getting trite in its reliance on the characters' overt character stereotypes. Also, recycling old themes too much. Rated 5-.

Kiss of the Dragon

Watching this movie, I was thinking: Wow, this is like The Transporter. It's like somebody got together a bunch of stylized actors who can't act at all and who barely speak English, but they look cool, and their lack of speaking skills won't be recognized in most of the world. It really sucks, but the nifty choreography is what most viewers are going to remember, so people are going to say that it's pretty good. Which it isn't. At all.
Surprise, surprise, the screenplay of this piece of dreck was same as The Transporter.
Yet, the fight scenes *were* well-choreographed and filmed (much more seamlessly than The Transporter, actually, and other movies have offended my delicate sensibilities much more than this turd. And, on the bright side, when the big, ripped black man appeared out of nowhere to gratuitously rip off his shirt (in an obvious desperate ploy to expand the film's demographic)... well, I haven't laughed so vigorously at the screen since that dagger nearly pierced Tom Cruise's eye in Mission Impossible II. Rated 8. (I'd give it an 8+, but on principal I just can't bring myself to associate a "plus" with this film.)

Dead Like Me - Death Defying

In one sitting, it's an about-face from everything in the previous post, but almost equally as satisfying. Unlike many other tv shows, where I find myself watching and waiting for it to reach its potential, "Dead Like Me" unfolds beautifully. I admit, I get irked when they reap murders, when they are supposed to only deal in accidents, but I'll skim over this fact in light of their fine character development. Rated 2-.

Star Trek - Tapestry

After a slate of less-than-stellar viewing experiences (future entries), it was nice to have a double-shot of the good stuff. This well-written episode resonates with me, as I have often thought how my life might have panned out if I had had certain traits in my youth that I have only recently developed. But the I always come to the same conclusion, which is that I wouldn't change the bad choices I've made in my past at the sacrifice of my current self. And why would I want to? That is, after all, what being human is all about. As Q and Jean Luc discover.
It is odd, however, that Jean Luc accepts defeat and "wants out" from Q so quickly in his alternate reality. You'd think that with his pluck and vigor he could find new chances to take and paths to forge. ...but I guess it is hard to establish a new career at his age. (Speaking of which, his kissing his Academy friend was even creepier than young-enough-to-be-my-daughter Vash. But that's just me.) Rated 2+

Star Trek - Q-less

I appreciate when the Trek series' play with each other, and I dislike Vash less with this follow-up episode, but mustn't Q have learned Love to behave in this manner? He seems more like a moody teenager being dumped than an omnipotent being. Well, I suppose that Gods can do whatever they want. Rated 4-.

Star Trek - True Q

At first, I was concerned to see another perhaps flighty ensign(ish) on board in this episode. The Love of Love - as if it's the only weapon against Q - gets a bit cloying, but the episode was fair. That girl must have special powers to have such a complicated wardrobe that sets her off so beautifully. Rated 4.

Northern Exposure - It Happened in Juneau

Way too much Chris quoting for me to care. And having his voice leave him has already been done. The plotline with Fleischman and Maggie was also too played-out and trite. Rated 5-.

Star Trek - Qpid

*sigh* This episode required prior knowledge of characters, which I did not have. Fortunately, Mr.Goat is a virtual Trek Oracle. I didn't like the dippy ensign character, who didn't seem to have much purpose. Neither did I understand why Picard would fall for someone as morally corrupt as Vache - excuse me... Vash. But I suppose it's a play on that old "good girls like bad boys" adage. ...and then they run off with your nemesis.
Fair enough. Rated 3-.

Star Trek - Deja Q

Funniest. Star. Trek. Episode. Ever.
Again, it's a science + religion episode that gets me. You get a godlike creature who has to be a mortal human... it's like Jesus, see? Only this God never wanted to be human. And who turns out to be his best friend? An android.
...But it's not as lame as that sounds. When people tell me how easy my baby's life must be, I always comment how I think it's hard work to be a baby. So much to learn, every day... and babies don't know how to slack off (or still know that slacking wouldn't be in their best interest). Q knows everything about the universe but nothing about life, and his dilemmas are like those of a baby who can talk. Brilliant. (Should I revisit "Mork and Mindy"? Wasn't that part of the plot?) Rated 2, with potential.

Year of the Goat

Living the dream, man. Living the dream.
Spending a year on the road (kind of), visiting goat farm after goat farm, sampling all manner of tasty chevre. I'm not too keen on reading about goat slaughter and its meat byproducts, but let the omnivores have their fun. At least they talk about responsible slaughter. The talk of the cheese kept my mouth watering long enough so that I didn't care so much about the market for halal goat.
In theory, I wouldn't see myself caring too much to read a travel narrative by two upper-class(ish) Manhattanites and their search for a simpler life. (Isn't that what [*shudder*] New Jersey is all about?) But the prose was fun and accessible without being trite, and the tales were varied and well-organized. They also have done all of the research for what would be a few lovely vacations, in my book. (If I had read this last year, my trip to Texas' hill country would have been quite different.) Rated 3+.

The Bourne Supremacy

It's not high art, and the protagonist's emotional push was inevitable, but it's refreshing to see an action movie made without so many computer-generated special effects (the early Bond films were proud of their real-life stunts) or reliance on technological plot devices. I wasn't even too disturbed by the notion that a girl born in 1979 was supposed to be able to hold down a high-level CIA job. (Katie Holmes posing as an Assistant DA in "Batman Begins", on the other hand, irked me to no end.) The movie also made me wax sentimental for Europe, especially so every time I recognized the Westin Grand in Berlin, where I spent several nights of my honeymoon. Rated 3.

Stardust

When I hear of a Gaiman book being translated to film (a major one at that), I am suspicious. Were I a director, I wouldn't even attempt to translate such brilliant fantasy to mere (visual/ cinematic) reality. The potential for disappointment is too great. I commend Matthew Vaughn for this effort. (I kept thinking - "This is how Terry Gilliam's films could be!") Surprisingly delightful casting and cinematography, special effects not at all cloying. Funny where it should be (although the pirate fairy could have been a bit more subtle), sappy where appropriate, and true enough to the book to not cause raised eyebrows. Reminiscent of "The Princess Bride", even.
But then there's the ending. Between making the happily ever after more happy than necessary and the mind-numbing credit song that follows the denouement, the mood is thrown out the window at the 11th hour, and my rating drops from a very solid "2 with potential" to a 2/3.

Les Miserables

According to my records, I started this 900-page-behemoth on 10/15. Finishing on Christmas Eve is pretty respectable, considering all of the other media consumed and hours worked in the interim.
My interest in the story ebbed and flowed throughout the pages. The first few hundred pages were delightful in their romanticism. I found Fantine's sacrifices touching and Jean ValJean's moral development quite lovely. Then a few hundred pages on somewhat tedious political struggles would slow me down. Then a sappy love story took the reins, more antiquated political intrigue, tempered by a more interesting plea for street children, and capped off with more lame ladies and melodrama involving folks not knowing who sacrificed what for whom, and worrying about fitting into high society. But through this all, Jean ValJean remained a captivating character. Long story short, 900 (abridged!) pages is quite a feat of writing, and you have to expect some down time. Not every page can please, and it seemed to be somewhat of a crowd pleaser (like the musical, but less severely so). More or less, however, this novel meets its mark. Rated 3+.

Star Trek - Q Who?

The Star Trek "Q Collective" contains all episodes featuring this popular character, so I find the narrative continuity particularly fulfilling. (And yes, they address the backlash of his previous appearances.) It's nice not to have to ask Mr.Goat questions about what I have missed between selected episodes. Q is cool in his unpredictability. At times, it seems that he's just playing mischievous mind games, and at other times flashes of evil psychosis spark up in his demeanor. Take the prime humanity of Jean Luc, the unpredictability of Q, and mix in the dreadful (in its effect, not quality) predictability of Borg, and you have a recipe for a good episode. (Borg Babies!) Note: Riker has already taken on the Billy Joel look in season 2. Rated 2.

Simpsons - My Sister, My Sitter

The sibling relationship episodes in The Simpson tend to be quite satisfactory. Since my own baby bears a vague physical resemblance to Maggie, her performance in this episode cracked me up, in particular. Baby on coffee ice cream = HI-larious. I never read the babysitter club books, so I'm missing out on something, but I still rate this episode a 2.

Rifftrax - Star Wars II, Attack of the Clones

Compared to the horror that was The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones is a masterpiece of the cinema. Then again, so would be "The Care Bears Movie". Actually, Episode II is not that bad. The acting and much of the dialogue is horrible, and the special effects are really overused... but it isn't largely unwatchable and even has some cool parts. Like the sonic boom (which sounded much less cool, since I no longer have my surround sound system) and yoda's fight scene. It disturbs me, however, that my brother philosophizes in lines way too close to those of young Anakin (in particular, the 'rolling in the field' scene). Fortunately, my family doesn't have claim to mitichlorians, a virgin birth, or sword fighting expertise (unless you count my semester of fencing). In the end, the cool elements and low expectations outrank the serious demerits. Rated 4/5.

The Bourne Identity

I never would have seen this movie, if it weren't for the recommendation of a friend, but it proved better than the average action movie I've seen lately. Unlike many sequels (or even tv shows), I would watch the sequels anticipating enjoying them, not just waiting to complete the series. The female was fairly disposable but wasn't overplayed as a romantic device, and I'm partial to Lola Rennt to begin with. Rated 3/4

Star Trek - Hide & Q

Another First season surprise.
I realize that I am used to seeing Riker from later episodes, and I have always called him "That Billy Joel guy", in reference to his unattractive features with a beard. But in the first season, I see that he was supposed to be traditionally good-looking. He looks like a young Orson Welles, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised, since he eventually became an old Orson Welles... on a similarly superficial vein, I'm sad to see that the actor playing the adorable Q also did not age so cutely. (He looks like a retired boater in this photo, at least.) Well, that's life.
I enjoyed this episode, even though the performances were somewhat stodgy. And I will have to knock it down a notch if they never mention Q being punished by his people.
Rated 3+

Star Trek - Encounter at Farpoint

I had heard that the first season of ST:TNG was mostly unwatchable, so I was pleasantly surprised and impressed by the pilot. I thought that it did a quite good job of introducing a large cast of characters (even if it doesn't address some of the character traits given ever again), and Q is always delightful. Zorn also reminded me of Christopher Walken. While a less brilliant incarnation, the allusion is still positive. Rated 2-

Northern Exposure - Season 3

Always behind on time to record... several episodes here:
Democracy in America - Too much Chris, too much Fleishman in his annoying element. (Whatever happened to those dream sequences of previous seasons? *sigh*) 4
Three Amigos - Lots of episodes about dealing with death, aren't there? The flitting widow is funny, tho. 4+
Lost & Found - Complex and more subtle. 3-
My Mother, My Sister - Cute enough. 3/4
Wake Up Call - Very nice. Would have been more original if they hadn't already had Maggie's ex "reincarnated" as a dog. 2-
The Final Frontier - I had been wondering for a while what had happened to these characters, and I don't like when tv shows leave things hanging, but yet *another* coping with death theme? 3-

Simpsons Episodes, Season 8

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer - Homer being an a** again, but you can't go wrong with animated surreality. 3+
The Twisted World of Marge Simpson - Cute enough. 3/4
Mountain of Madness - Cute enough. I've seen it many times, however. 3/4
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)cious - Way cuter than the movie on which it is based. 2
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show - 3
Homer's Phobia - Edgy, hilarious. 2
Brother From Another Series - Probably funnier if I had watched Frasier, but funny nonetheless. Poor Sideshow Bob. 2/3